“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(So much has happened since the last private session was held a month ago [on May 7] that I told Jane tonight that I’d make no attempt to summarize it all here. Suffice it to note that, as I also told her as we sat for this session, that these last few sessions may be “the last gasp” before we seek outside help, or are forced to. Indeed, that process has probably already begun. Events began to come to a head last week with the professional visit of “our” optometrist, Jim Adams, to check Jane’s double vision problems.

(Jane’s symptoms, especially her walking ability, have become much worse since the last private session was held—so much so that all of a sudden it seems to be a question of how much longer she can continue to make it to the john here in the house. It can hardly be a coincidence that last week, too, we received our copies of Mass Events from Prentice-Hall, along with word from Tam that the controversial book is now being shipped nationwide. I’m positive, I said, that she became worse because of that book’s publication, along with the forthcoming publication of God of Jane, probably later this week. I for one am holding my breath in the hope and trust that God of Jane’s issuance doesn’t also contribute to a worsening of her symptoms. Her feet are more swollen and slow-moving now than I’ve seen them be in a number of years.

Because of the Prentice situation, and because of the decision not to work on our book for a while, he felt blocked, not knowing how or when to move ahead (underlined). For all of your own regrets and recriminations about Prentice, for example, he was himself pleased by Tam’s letter today, that that bridge toward motion had not been severed.

At the same time he was trying to uncover the basic reasons for his difficulties, so that all in all a good deal of loaded material of one kind or another was being encountered, some discussed in these sessions.

All of the material I have given about attitudes toward revelationary material are important in that context, and please realize that I am categorizing. To that degree and in the light of this discussion, you end up with what I will call —and have in the past called—the overly conscientious self, which attempts to deal with the attitudes of the Sinful Self by checking and double-checking all the time, by being, in other words, overly conscientious: is Ruburt dealing with “the truth,” and so forth? That kind of question is endlessly considered by the conscientious self. You are taught as children to be honest in very literal terms, and often children’s natural imaginative abilities and creativity get them in a good deal of trouble.

The fear of relaxation is still there, so that mentally and physically it still impedes progress. In all of this, however, thoughts of self-accusation simply must be avoided as much as possible, for to a good degree in one way or another such activities and misunderstandings are behind any illness, and Ruburt is hardly to single himself out in any one area as being more stupid than anyone else. All of these issues are responsible for the bathroom difficulty, and once again I maintain the steady attempts of the body to recuperate. Your reassurances, when you are able to give them, are invaluable.

(Long pause.) He can help himself beside the sessions by encouraging the use of his own abilities directed toward self-understanding and healing. Once a day an exercise in the utilization of healing energy should be used. This can be of some value, particularly when done with some regularity. In their way library exercises are also helpful, as is the forgotten point-of-power exercise—all practical techniques that have not been put to any concerted use.