“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(See the copy attached of my dream of this morning. To my surprise the dream led to this session. I typed it as soon as I got up, and Jane read it at the breakfast table. As we discussed the dream I began to make connections on my own about my early days in NY City with Ralph Ramstad, as well as about commercial art, my parents, doing illustration, and so forth. I explained these items to Jane in some detail.

(“Synchronicity” also seemed to be involved with the dream, for in today’s paper I found myself reading a column in the sports section, concerning knee injuries —and this in turn triggered my remembering that Ralph Ramstad had a “trick knee,” as he used to call it, the result I believe of a childhood accident. And following those two connections, I speculated with Jane about a third: my hurting the lower left ribs about a week ago during the visit of Tom D’Orio and friends. Frank Longwell told me I’d strained the ligaments helping to support the ribs, and that “they don’t like that.” Most uncomfortable, even at times in bed. The seemingly innocuous injury, which hasn’t even left a black-and-blue sign, is quite painful at times and most inconvenient in regards to various bodily functions involving any sudden movements, as in sneezing, etc.

(But the dream, innocuous as it seemed to be, carried a big charge. I was amazed that Jane picked up so well on it, and that her insights extended to herself and the symptoms in ways that hadn’t occurred to me. I’d even thought of not bothering to write down the dream in the first place.

Now: the dream is a continuation and a clarification of issues discussed in your own two previous dreams—the one about the magazine stores, and the one about the granary.

The service station is significant on many levels, being used here as a particularly American symbol of the mechanical age, and also one that refers to a pursuit that is utilitarian and also provides service (as Jane said this morning): You deal directly with the public. There are two main areas and issues that wind in and out of this dream, as in the other two: the idea of work and service in relation to the idea of art and creativity.

In the first scene of this dream you see a probable self, who could reasonably be expected to be the kind of son your father might have, gifted with his hands mechanically, assertive enough to own his own business, however—after all, a part of the American dream, embarked upon employment that he enjoyed, and yet one that provided a service, hence physically seen between the ice (and roller-skating) rink, representing pleasure or fun, and the grocery store, representing service or nourishment. So you might have been that kind of person, with the belief system of your times, and with your background. A man if possible should own his own business, provide a service for the community—and, again, inventiveness or creativity were to be wedded to those pursuits. Your father’s inventiveness, again, dealt often with mechanics.

Now that material lay in your dream, a part of its message. You showed the dream to Ruburt after typing it up. The very fact that you remembered it, of course, meant that you were willing to become consciously aware of its message. The meanings began to come to Ruburt, and the dream itself stirred your own waking associations, so that the two of you discussed those days and the early days of your marriage.

The symptoms became the sign of reluctance. They helped take the place of the isolated mountain cabin, perhaps. To a large degree they were largely the result of a lack of understanding of himself, brought on by his old religious beliefs of responsibility, then applied to his own creativity. So your dream sparked the discussion that sparked these later emotional realizations on Ruburt’s part—realizations that should go a long way toward removing such feelings of responsibility, and hence relieving the situation considerably.

(Long pause at 4:02.) To some extent at times you each dream dreams that can be used by the other one, and this is a case in point. Ruburt felt that a public career threatened his own, and to some extent your characteristic, natural and absolutely necessary ways of relating with the world.

(Long pause.) End of session, except to remind you that the dream message also reflects material that I have been giving you concerning creativity and the stressing of pleasure above responsibility. You paint because it gives you pleasure initially. You have the sessions together and you do the notes primarily because these endeavors bring you pleasure. They exercise your curiosity, creativity, and sense of exploration.

(“You’d be free to do anything you want to,” I said. “The idea is you’d be free to do as you please. You could answer it, or any part of it, as you wanted to.... Wouldn’t it be a scream if a relatively innocuous-seeming dream like that one marked the turning point in this thing?” Indeed.