“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(I did want the situation resolved, however, because I could see it drifting toward a larger hassle with Tam and publicity at Prentice-Hall. Prentice-Hall was bound to be confused about our motives and intents, and also there was the latest evidence that the uncertainty or resistance would lead to aggravated symptoms on Jane’s part.

(For several days now I’d been thinking about a remark of Seth’s in one of the earliest of this group of sessions, to the effect that Jane’s symptoms would get worse before they got better as we tried to cope with them. I’ve wished, often that I’d asked him to elaborate at the time—or at least marked the session so that I could find the remark later. Well, now Jane’s symptoms are worse. Before the session began I tried to locate the remark, but couldn’t. I felt considerable frustration, and finally laid the book aside. “Well, I hope I don’t ever have to find a specific remark in these sessions any more, “because it’s becoming impossible.”

(One of the obvious reasons, I thought, was that the portions of the personality that were acting up became so powerful that they prevented or subverted a simple thing like asking for help to deal with a problem or challenge. Whatever struggles lay behind the hand and arm symptoms, for example, adopted their own protective armor, resistant to change....)

(9:38.) In a way, Ruburt’s symptoms ended up as providing a system of controls, serving in several rather than one area, but areas that he is now exploring in rather concentrated form. The symptoms did serve partially as face-saving devices, and for both of you to some extent, to explain behavior of your own that perhaps you did not understand—though this largely involves Ruburt’s behavior, of course.

As he began to understand to some degree that he need not be expected to do tours and so forth, he thought of the radio shows as alternate ways of fulfilling his responsibility. The information I gave about his arms in the past was correct. It is also true, however, that his hands and arms became more aggravated in their condition precisely because he did not want to be able to hold the phone to do an hour show. In response, he thought about a gadget that would automatically allow him to speak without holding the phone for so long—this in response to Prentice’s latest project. Tam hinted some time ago that additional ads and advertising to that effect would probably take place. Chronic physical disabilities and problems drag on in a certain fashion because they serve many purposes, and the last groups of sessions show the interior and exterior kinds of controls that those symptoms have provided.

Ruburt has been working with them on a much more conscious level. The stability of the system of course is threatened. The difficulty with Ruburt’s arms and hands bother his typing now, showing him finally in no uncertain terms that the system has served its purpose long ago, and that his creativity is dependent upon psychological and physical mobility. The symptoms have been aggravated to some extent, then, bringing to the forefront of his mind the very problems that require his attention.

The overdone sense of responsibility can erode love and satisfaction. Ruburt “loved” to do housework at one time. Later his ideas of responsibility told him he should be working—not because he wanted to be working, but because he should be. At the same time those same worldly concerns led him to wonder about the validity of his own “messages”—and how responsible he was to the world for them—so the symptoms also served to give him a greater sense of caution, to temper creativity, for all the reasons stated in the Sinful-Self material.

(“You did on the hands and arms, but how about more on the remark you made in that past session, about Jane’s symptoms getting worse before they get better?”)

Ruburt is just about over those intensifications of symptoms, however, they could be expected simply because the old ideas were being consistently threatened, which added some additional stress. Overall, however, he did not back down, but has persevered.

(Upon thinking it over—it’s now Sunday afternoon as I finish typing the session—I now believe that I should have said little or nothing, and I became concerned lest I undid, or tried to, what progress Jane has managed to achieve lately. I was angry at session’s end, however, with the fact that she had responded to the publicity dilemma with aggravated hand and arm symptoms, and that it had taken me so long myself to realize what was going on. It made me question what we were doing generally, that such an obvious response should escape our notice. All of this is based on my deep concern for what has befallen Jane—or, more truthfully, what she has created for herself with my cooperation.