“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Long pause at 9:49.) In a way, the external politics of the situation within your country is helping Ruburt to understand his own position far better than he did earlier. It is helping him clarify some issues. There were always two faces to his endeavors—the private search for understanding, and the public expression as a writer. In a fashion this applies to most endeavors of a creative kind. The painter’s painting is a result of a private search, but in a gallery it becomes a public expression.

Years ago, when the Gallery of Silence people began to bug him, he felt threatened, afraid that he would become the brunt of fanatics or extremists. He was nevertheless determined to take some kind of a public stand—for not to do so would mean not to express himself through his books at all. He knew he would never give into that course, but he felt that some of that dates back to childhood habits and beliefs, when his very food and bed was given him by the auspices of the public.

He was taught to be very cautious lest that livelihood be taken away. The only private fears he had were also old ones, having to do with the whole false-prophet syndrome, the fear of leading people down the garden path, and so forth. Those private and public arenas became connected, however. (Long pause.) He was worried that his natural expression and search, publicly expressed at that point in history, was dangerous because it put him in the gaze of a growing band of fanatics on the one hand, and also roused old fears of a private nature, having to do with the overall validity of revelatory information.

The information in Mass Events and in our sessions helped him use impulses to a far better degree than he had before, and helped him keep some balance, let him advance in understanding despite the period of difficulty. Still at various times and throughout the period, he used what he thought of as that additional protection: the symptoms kept him inside, where it seemed he could indeed express himself with the least duress. At the same time he was learning that expression denied at one level means expression denied to some extent at all levels (louder)—so that of course his creative work also suffered to some degree.

(10:30.) The understandings that Ruburt is now achieving are precisely the ones needed. What is left is reassurance that each step along the way is safe and supported. It is important for him to remember the effortlessness with which increased flexibility can come. It can come as easily as your income does (with humor, referring to my work on taxes the last two days). It is important that he not worry, or project his difficulties into the future—and while he does much better at that than he did, he still needs the reminder.

(“I know we’ve gone over it many times, but I need some refreshing on why he’s equated the lack of mobility with protection. Is it because the immobility keeps him inside the house, where he feels safe, or....?”

He thought that immobility kept him at his desk working, free from any impulses to do otherwise, since for many years he believed that the spontaneous self must be harnessed toward creativity, and that left alone it would have too many other interests.

At the same time he feared that the spontaneous self could get him into difficulties (long pause), because he had no way of knowing where his own search might lead him—and particularly he feared that it might lead him into conflict with the rest of the world.

The immobility protected him, so he thought, from encountering any such outside conflicts, and insured his continuing creativity by cutting down other interests and distractions, and by organizing his time in a most economical fashion—or so it seemed. That is a simplified answer. The nuances, which are important, appear in many groups of sessions, given in the past, and also include his reaction to attitudes of your own, which to some extent helped form and solidify his own ideas in those regards.