“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Largely—for I am simplifying here to some considerable degree, but largely—Ruburt felt little difficulties to be encountered in his private search, but in their public expression he was far more cautious. It is impossible, of course, to really separate the two, but as his work became better known, the private search became more of a public issue.

(10:05.) He would not stop expressing himself, but immediately felt he needed greater protection. To some extent he doubted his own vision—see the connection with his eye difficulty. Despite this he went on with some considerable courage, determination and vigor in my book and his own to encounter the nitty-gritty, so to speak, to bring out the issues clearly to himself and to the world.

The information in Mass Events and in our sessions helped him use impulses to a far better degree than he had before, and helped him keep some balance, let him advance in understanding despite the period of difficulty. Still at various times and throughout the period, he used what he thought of as that additional protection: the symptoms kept him inside, where it seemed he could indeed express himself with the least duress. At the same time he was learning that expression denied at one level means expression denied to some extent at all levels (louder)—so that of course his creative work also suffered to some degree.

(10:30.) The understandings that Ruburt is now achieving are precisely the ones needed. What is left is reassurance that each step along the way is safe and supported. It is important for him to remember the effortlessness with which increased flexibility can come. It can come as easily as your income does (with humor, referring to my work on taxes the last two days). It is important that he not worry, or project his difficulties into the future—and while he does much better at that than he did, he still needs the reminder.

At the same time he feared that the spontaneous self could get him into difficulties (long pause), because he had no way of knowing where his own search might lead him—and particularly he feared that it might lead him into conflict with the rest of the world.