“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(My “discovery” cheered Jane considerably, and she mentioned it several times today. Especially did she comment upon the fears she encounters at bodily changes. Seth has mentioned her fears at times recently; so have we; still, I asked that if she had a session tonight Seth might give some information on the fears. Easing them, I said, would certainly help her body generally.

(Jane had spent a lot of time today either on the couch or the bed [in the latter case making notes], and seemed to be better, generally speaking. After supper she grew particularly relaxed on the couch. I tried to let her know, without pushing, that a session tonight would be helpful, that I wanted to take advantage of the opportunity to learn more. Jane decided to have a session by 9:30, then. “I’m so sleepy I could go right to bed. If only I could just feel him around. It’s sure quiet....”

(A reminder: Each morning after breakfast we’ve been reading a session and having a discussion about it and matters in general. All our own sessions have been beneficial, I’d say. In these recent sessions Seth has several times referred to points he wants to go into in more detail later. My next project is to start a list of these points so that we make sure they’re covered.

Sometimes back then he would not even tell you of projects until he was certain they had jelled. He did not want to talk them out ahead of time.

Ruburt had a reason for not going on tour, for example—one that was certainly acceptable enough in a world of conventional understanding. He was saved, so it seemed, from endless explanations; so with a kind of psychological economy that worked far too well for a time the symptoms served to keep him writing at his desk, to regulate the flow of psychic activity, making sure of its direction, and to provide a suitable social reason to refrain from activities that might distract him—from tours or shows, and also even from any onslaught of psychic activity that might follow any unseeming (underlined) spontaneous behavior.

(Long pause.) In such engagements, however, for him at least, that necessary private threshold is crossed, endangered. The inner psychological distance must become surfacely portrayed, instantly translated to the audience, so that for him there is the same kind of reaction that he might have in talking to others overly much about a book of his own in progress—as if he might talk out the book, and therefore not need to write it, while at the same time losing much of the inner development that might otherwise give the book its own deeper meanings.

The radio shows from the house pleased him for some time, but they also became taboo because he feared they might lead to other engagements of a more public venture that would be difficult to refuse. We are getting some of this through to him—hence the bodily responses, and relaxations. The last few sessions should be read carefully and kept in mind.

(“Nope.” I had some, actually, but could see that it was time for Jane to get out of her chair.)

(“Naturally, she wouldn’t ever let Seth say this, especially without coaxing. All else would come after this primary, basic fear—her dislike of going public, especially when she found out that Seth could easily win a large audience in the country, and perhaps the world. The opposition of science and religion would only reinforce her own personal fears, then—a very important point. She knew she had the ability but feared the consequences of its use socially and personally. At the same time she wanted to use the ability but keep it under control.”

(“It would be easy for her to transpose that basic fear of the psychic abilities and Seth into a fear of spontaneity going too far, and of not working at her desk. The intellect wouldn’t dare give too much leeway to the psychic expression, while at the same time being fascinated by the affair and wanting to study it all. But the intellect would insist upon keeping rigid control, fearing that if Jane let her spontaneous self hold sway that it would go whole hog psychically, in the worst way, and destroy all other elements and activities of the personality.”