“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

He took it for granted that, ideally speaking, he should do such public work, that it was his responsibility, but also that it represented a natural expression of abilities that he was denying because of his fears. So often he told himself that if he got better he would only be too glad to go on television or whatever, or to do whatever he was supposed to do.

He has, however, held it over his head that if he improved he should then do such work—and that only fear held him back. He was afraid that the spontaneous self would go overboard in that direction. It is the spontaneous self, of course, as much as any other portion of the personality, that often spontaneously holds back when such issues are considered—the part that is somehow spontaneously offended—a very important point to remember. So the reasoning: “Get better, then you can go out into the world to go on television or whatever,” or “Once you get better, you will be delighted to go on television and tell your story”—those directives simply make the issues more muddy.