“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

DELETED SESSION

(My “discovery” cheered Jane considerably, and she mentioned it several times today. Especially did she comment upon the fears she encounters at bodily changes. Seth has mentioned her fears at times recently; so have we; still, I asked that if she had a session tonight Seth might give some information on the fears. Easing them, I said, would certainly help her body generally.

(Jane had spent a lot of time today either on the couch or the bed [in the latter case making notes], and seemed to be better, generally speaking. After supper she grew particularly relaxed on the couch. I tried to let her know, without pushing, that a session tonight would be helpful, that I wanted to take advantage of the opportunity to learn more. Jane decided to have a session by 9:30, then. “I’m so sleepy I could go right to bed. If only I could just feel him around. It’s sure quiet....”

(A reminder: Each morning after breakfast we’ve been reading a session and having a discussion about it and matters in general. All our own sessions have been beneficial, I’d say. In these recent sessions Seth has several times referred to points he wants to go into in more detail later. My next project is to start a list of these points so that we make sure they’re covered.

(I’ve also thought of making a list of pertinent points—one liners, say —that are especially good, from these sessions. Seth comes through with great statements like that in just about every session, I’d say.

(“Well, I guess I’m about ready,” Jane finally said, “but I do really think this will be short.” She’d said something very similar before launching into the last session, too. Re 458 below: The number of “our” apartment house in Elmira, NY.)

Now this idealized self was primarily Ruburt’s—but to some extent also you contributed to it, feeling that anyone as gifted as Ruburt, if he were sure enough of himself, would indeed want to go out in that arena and press forward. You both felt a sense of schism between Ruburt’s physical condition and a hypothetical image of Ruburt as someone getting my material and ideally embodying it, so that if not perfect at least the main aspects of the life were smoothed out without contrasts. (Long pause.) In that regard indeed Ruburt felt as if he could not live up to my creative work—as if his physical being must embody all of the knowledge that came to him through our sessions—another important point.

(A very important point, I think. See my note at the end of the session.

He is not expected by me to set up an organization. (Long pause.) He does not have the responsibility to see to it that as many people as possible view a session.

Now spontaneously he would give more sessions for others, quite happily and easily, but in the framework of the situation, the black or white aspect holds back such expression. (Pause.) He would probably see more groups, as you both did at 458 together, were it not for the black or white thinking, but this would be in response to quite spontaneous urgings to do so. (Pause.) The spontaneous self can quite spontaneously say no—and most of his spontaneous feelings toward the public arena are those of quick natural rejection.

The radio shows from the house pleased him for some time, but they also became taboo because he feared they might lead to other engagements of a more public venture that would be difficult to refuse. We are getting some of this through to him—hence the bodily responses, and relaxations. The last few sessions should be read carefully and kept in mind.

End of session, unless you have a question.

(11:12 PM. “It’s amazing,” Jane said with a laugh, after I said she really got going in the session. “I kept waiting and waiting and waiting—so I thank you for helping me have the session.”

(It’s Thursday night [2/12] as I finish typing this session. As I typed the paragraph on page @38-39 of the material, I had the insight described below. I think it came to me because of my concern recently over the new idea I’d come across—concerning Jane’s ideas about her relationship with Seth, her feelings about her abilities versus his, etc. I must admit that I am still rather surprised to understand, finally, that Jane has entertained feelings of inferiority about her abilities as related to those of Seth.

(I made quick notes about my insight just now. and transcribe them below without much elaboration. I would say they represent simplistic thinking to some degree—but that, again, I’ve hit on something here that hasn’t been expressed in just this way before. I feel the same mechanisms for understanding operated here as did when I had the insight of February 3—see the deleted session for February 4 [the first in this new series], wherein I wrote that Jane “does the Seth books just to please me.” I think that insight is connected to the following: