1 result for (book:tps6 AND heading:"delet session decemb 15 1980" AND stemmed:background)
[... 13 paragraphs ...]
Your morning discussion, concerning Ruburt’s past, was also beneficial, for it is good to remind yourselves of your own (underlined) backgrounds, rather than ever comparing yourselves with other people whose own backgrounds may have little to do with yours. You have both done remarkably well from that viewpoint. When you seem to suffer in contrast to the development or situation of any other specific or generalized persons, it is when you are trying to live up to artificial pictures of yourselves—of people who should have been as knowledgeable years ago as they are now, and who therefore now should be at much greater stages of development.
In others words, you often expect too much of yourselves. This makes you dwell upon any difficulties, so that any blemishes are overly emphasized, any accomplishments taken for granted, and you are left with a sense of disapproval. (Pause.) Then you lack trust in yourselves because you try to live up to images that are not connected with your backgrounds, and often ignore them. What you have learned seems as nothing, because you forget how your attitudes changed.
[... 2 paragraphs ...]
(10:20.) Again, it goes without saying that in your situations you largely overlook such benefits. Ruburt’s remarks in his essay on love apply here, in regard to its specific nature. That is (pause), it arouses memories from your own most intimate moments in the past, and therefore in its own way records the development of ideas and attitudes that you might otherwise completely overlook. You had friends lately disappointed in marriages and relationships (Sue and Claire). Your own relationship is itself quite extraordinary, precisely in the light of your own backgrounds—not as you think those backgrounds should have been, but as they were.
[... 12 paragraphs ...]