“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(This afternoon I’d suggested that she might like a word from Seth on her mother’s present situation—meaning that if her mother now had more insight as to her treatment of her daughter, this knowledge might help Jane feel better about her own reactions to her mother. Yet Jane wasn’t sure. When I repeated the suggestion now she said it regenerated those feelings of panic and/or unease, “but we haven’t time to go into them now, with the session due and all.”

As I stated before, Ruburt was not responsible for his mother’s illness, the break-up of her marriage, the deaths of his grandmother and housekeeper (long pause), and had he had brothers or sisters, for example, they would have reacted in their own fashions to Marie’s behavior. Ruburt had been put in the Protestant day camp for an unfortunate short summer following the grandmother’s death, and later into the Catholic home for a more protracted period of time. To some extent he thought of that as punishment, of course, of being abandoned, forced to take charity as well, and the home reinforced all of the Catholic beliefs, particularly stressing the sinfulness of the body. Remember for example the bathing episodes. There was no distinction made: to be sinful was of course to be a sinner, and in that home there was no time to foster any kind of independence—the children had to follow strict schedules, toe the mark.

(Long pause at 9:56.) He spent a good deal of time on his knees, then, doing penance when he did not fit into that structure. If he looked into a mirror and was caught at it, he was then caught in the sin of pride. When he wet the bed in the fourth grade night after night, the act was characterized as dirty.

(Long pause at 9:58.) When he wrote the letters to his mother they were censored. The nuns told him that he must say he was happy, whether or not he was. By the time he returned home he was quite rigid and moralistic. On the other hand, for the time being he had a very secure belief system against which for quite a full number of years he could test his own mental, emotional and spiritual vigor.

Marie did not hate Ruburt, though at times she could be quite hateful in her expressions. She was primarily bitter, and that bitterness lashed out at anyone, with Ruburt the nearest target. (Long pause.) Her last illness, while painful, was not a long lingering one. Ruburt need not blame himself for not attending Marie’s death.

(9:38 PM. Jane said as she came out of trance: “That was hard for me to get into. Just as I stopped I remembered something: When I lay down after we got through reading the sessions, I had another one of those sorts of half-conscious out-of-bodies, I guess you’d call it. One thing that happened was that I was standing an inch or so higher, and I was walking pretty fast—but I was still bent way over, like I was still in my body like that first time this happened. I was real pleased, though.”