“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Long pause, one of many, at 9:36.) Ruburt’s background formed its own relative uniqueness—the household was charged. Give us a moment.... Ruburt picked that background because it afforded certain opportunities. Those opportunities involved emotional understanding, a very close and emotional contact with a particular belief system, and a firsthand view of a certain kind of reality structure.

Why should anyone choose that kind of a lifetime? That was one of many, many questions (pause) that Ruburt had slated for himself. Where did that kind of belief system end up? How could it be altered or adjusted or rearranged to suit the needs of his own generation—or had it served all of its purposes? What were its benefits as well as its unfortunate aspects? How did creativity operate under such conditions?

(Long pause.) In that background Ruburt saw firsthand an example of many of the most unfortunate issues with which we have been presently concerned, to at least some extent, as he followed his mother’s adventures through the medical system, for example, through the welfare process. Marie was also a woman living without a man for many years. She was a strong personality. She lived in a relatively tumultuous emotional climate, provided with one kind of emotional excitement or another all the while.

Marie did not hate Ruburt, though at times she could be quite hateful in her expressions. She was primarily bitter, and that bitterness lashed out at anyone, with Ruburt the nearest target. (Long pause.) Her last illness, while painful, was not a long lingering one. Ruburt need not blame himself for not attending Marie’s death.

Marie also found peripheral relationships throughout later life, with nurses or attendants who turned into friends—and while her life certainly was not a happy one, it was not as tragic as it now seems to Ruburt to have been, so that the beneficial elements of that early background were used without quarreling, of course. The unbeneficial elements were also used, many with quite creative results.

(9:38 PM. Jane said as she came out of trance: “That was hard for me to get into. Just as I stopped I remembered something: When I lay down after we got through reading the sessions, I had another one of those sorts of half-conscious out-of-bodies, I guess you’d call it. One thing that happened was that I was standing an inch or so higher, and I was walking pretty fast—but I was still bent way over, like I was still in my body like that first time this happened. I was real pleased, though.”