“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(This afternoon I’d suggested that she might like a word from Seth on her mother’s present situation—meaning that if her mother now had more insight as to her treatment of her daughter, this knowledge might help Jane feel better about her own reactions to her mother. Yet Jane wasn’t sure. When I repeated the suggestion now she said it regenerated those feelings of panic and/or unease, “but we haven’t time to go into them now, with the session due and all.”

Now: we will take this gently.

Now to some extent each person tests the nature of reality in each life for himself or herself, and also for the entire generation. How can life be made better? So all of that was a portion of Ruburt’s challenge. Marie’s purposes were her own, but the two obviously embarked on a relationship together, knowing that it would go so far and be relatively unsatisfactory.

(Long pause at 9:10.) In a large manner, however, Marie’s daughter was always—somewhat, now—on the periphery of Marie’s life, and not at its center. To whatever degree anyone ever was at its center, Del was, even though they had not seen each other for years. (Delmer Roberts, Marie’s husband.)

(Long pause at 9:17.) The emotional situation did not lean in that direction: they had parted too many years before. It was as if Marie were saying, “This is the kind of a life those beliefs can create. Now you go out and see what you can do to change it.” Those events also added high drama, rich content, and provided unique creative material. Even in that background and with Marie’s behavior, Ruburt received a grounding in poetry, you see. His mother tried her writing. It would never have occurred to your mother to try short stories.

Marie also found peripheral relationships throughout later life, with nurses or attendants who turned into friends—and while her life certainly was not a happy one, it was not as tragic as it now seems to Ruburt to have been, so that the beneficial elements of that early background were used without quarreling, of course. The unbeneficial elements were also used, many with quite creative results.

(Long pause at 9:32.) Worse, its questions were largely ignored, so that its panic grew. Another portion of the self seemed to be initiating an entirely different system of reality, in complete opposition to that early background, and the Sinful Self was bound to react with some alarm. It is already beginning to change its views. It wanted the communication to begin with. In the meantime Ruburt felt—because of those beliefs—to some extent now, I am simplifying —that he could not do enough, produce enough, help himself or others enough, that he could not satisfy you enough in many areas, because he felt he was so flawed to begin with, therefore he did not deserve love, and would have to work for it, or plead for it.

(“And now I feel real funny—funny, ha-ha,” she said with little humor.)