“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Marie did not hate Ruburt, though at times she could be quite hateful in her expressions. She was primarily bitter, and that bitterness lashed out at anyone, with Ruburt the nearest target. (Long pause.) Her last illness, while painful, was not a long lingering one. Ruburt need not blame himself for not attending Marie’s death.

(Long pause at 9:32.) Worse, its questions were largely ignored, so that its panic grew. Another portion of the self seemed to be initiating an entirely different system of reality, in complete opposition to that early background, and the Sinful Self was bound to react with some alarm. It is already beginning to change its views. It wanted the communication to begin with. In the meantime Ruburt felt—because of those beliefs—to some extent now, I am simplifying —that he could not do enough, produce enough, help himself or others enough, that he could not satisfy you enough in many areas, because he felt he was so flawed to begin with, therefore he did not deserve love, and would have to work for it, or plead for it.