“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(This afternoon I’d suggested that she might like a word from Seth on her mother’s present situation—meaning that if her mother now had more insight as to her treatment of her daughter, this knowledge might help Jane feel better about her own reactions to her mother. Yet Jane wasn’t sure. When I repeated the suggestion now she said it regenerated those feelings of panic and/or unease, “but we haven’t time to go into them now, with the session due and all.”

Why should anyone choose that kind of a lifetime? That was one of many, many questions (pause) that Ruburt had slated for himself. Where did that kind of belief system end up? How could it be altered or adjusted or rearranged to suit the needs of his own generation—or had it served all of its purposes? What were its benefits as well as its unfortunate aspects? How did creativity operate under such conditions?

Now to some extent each person tests the nature of reality in each life for himself or herself, and also for the entire generation. How can life be made better? So all of that was a portion of Ruburt’s challenge. Marie’s purposes were her own, but the two obviously embarked on a relationship together, knowing that it would go so far and be relatively unsatisfactory.

As I stated before, Ruburt was not responsible for his mother’s illness, the break-up of her marriage, the deaths of his grandmother and housekeeper (long pause), and had he had brothers or sisters, for example, they would have reacted in their own fashions to Marie’s behavior. Ruburt had been put in the Protestant day camp for an unfortunate short summer following the grandmother’s death, and later into the Catholic home for a more protracted period of time. To some extent he thought of that as punishment, of course, of being abandoned, forced to take charity as well, and the home reinforced all of the Catholic beliefs, particularly stressing the sinfulness of the body. Remember for example the bathing episodes. There was no distinction made: to be sinful was of course to be a sinner, and in that home there was no time to foster any kind of independence—the children had to follow strict schedules, toe the mark.

(Long pause.) In that background Ruburt saw firsthand an example of many of the most unfortunate issues with which we have been presently concerned, to at least some extent, as he followed his mother’s adventures through the medical system, for example, through the welfare process. Marie was also a woman living without a man for many years. She was a strong personality. She lived in a relatively tumultuous emotional climate, provided with one kind of emotional excitement or another all the while.

Some of those unfortunate conditions, however, or questions, remained unresolved, and it is with those you are contending. They end up neatly summarized in the concept of the Sinful Self—a self so sinful that its own body had to be hidden from itself while it washed (all intently).

So such attitudes were reflected, and kept him from even appreciating his own work. All such matters will be covered.