“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Jane had a pretty good day today—until we read over some of the late sessions this afternoon, those having to do with her relationship with her mother. Then she became “irritated and edgy” as she lay down for her nap. And last night, as usual, she’d had some dreams bearing upon our currents efforts to help her. They hadn’t been nightmarish, though. Actually, she’d slept well, and got up to have breakfast with me. This morning she did an acrylic of the mums Frank Longwell had given her for her coming birthday.

(I attempted to reassure her, and added that we dared not let those feelings “go hide” again, underground in the psyche. Jane agreed. This afternoon I’d also said that I wouldn’t let her do that any more.

(Long pause at 9:56.) He spent a good deal of time on his knees, then, doing penance when he did not fit into that structure. If he looked into a mirror and was caught at it, he was then caught in the sin of pride. When he wet the bed in the fourth grade night after night, the act was characterized as dirty.

(Long pause at 9:17.) The emotional situation did not lean in that direction: they had parted too many years before. It was as if Marie were saying, “This is the kind of a life those beliefs can create. Now you go out and see what you can do to change it.” Those events also added high drama, rich content, and provided unique creative material. Even in that background and with Marie’s behavior, Ruburt received a grounding in poetry, you see. His mother tried her writing. It would never have occurred to your mother to try short stories.

(Long pause at 9:32.) Worse, its questions were largely ignored, so that its panic grew. Another portion of the self seemed to be initiating an entirely different system of reality, in complete opposition to that early background, and the Sinful Self was bound to react with some alarm. It is already beginning to change its views. It wanted the communication to begin with. In the meantime Ruburt felt—because of those beliefs—to some extent now, I am simplifying —that he could not do enough, produce enough, help himself or others enough, that he could not satisfy you enough in many areas, because he felt he was so flawed to begin with, therefore he did not deserve love, and would have to work for it, or plead for it.