“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(For last night had been one of her most uncomfortable yet. She woke me up crying at 4 AM, with flashing, shooting sensations in her right leg, from the hip all the way down to the foot. “By the time it reaches the foot, it almost feels good,” she said. She’d taken Bufferin but it hadn’t seemed to help much. She has had similar sensations in recent days—see the chronology for the weekend as listed below—but last night they were steadier and more intense. Jane also had another series of dreams, but unfortunately could remember hardly anything of them. I rubbed her legs for half an hour, then she fell asleep. In fact, she was snoring before I could get back to sleep myself.

(Jane slept until noon, and again during the morning thrashed about often in her sleep, and sometimes whimpered or cried out, presumably because of a dream. Yet when I called her she said she’d slept well. The hot, shooting sensations continued in her right leg, though to a lesser degree. Frank Longwell visited this noon, and massaged her legs also. He said the sensations were a positive, therapeutic sign of “nerve activity.” Yet Jane was back in bed by 3 PM, and slept until suppertime.

(Then before supper on Saturday she began to feel new, very strange sensations: painful in the hip, but much more pleasant by the time they reached the foot. Sometimes she made nearly involuntary quick movements of the leg or foot. We thought this added feeling of sensation might be the result of the last couple of sessions especially. Walter Zeh was her first husband.

(Sunday, April 26: After breakfast at 11:30—for Jane—I found her sitting with her legs propped up on a chair. The same sensations were running painfully down her right leg from the hip—but again, “they feel good by the time they reach my toes.”

(“Well, I still feel far from up to doing much,” Jane said as we waited tonight at 8:15, “but there’s no doubt about it, things are still going on. That sensation is now right here”—she pointed to the top of her right knee—“and goes on down into the ankle.” She’d also noticed new sensation on the top of her right foot, an area she’d been quite unaware of for a long time.

(“I assume I can have a session, but beyond a certain point it’s too hard.” she said—and winced as another shooting sensation “got me right in the knee. But I vaguely feel him around....”

Now (leaning back on the couch, eyes closed): First, we will begin with Ruburt’s physical sensations.

He is dealing with what is a kind of nervous generation—regeneration —reawakening the activity and function of the nerves involved in normal walking —a reeducation process in which nervous sensations are reintroduced.

The intensification has a purpose in bringing those nervous connections to conscious attention, and in (long pause) reasserting those connections to the proper physical connections to the brain. In a manner of speaking those sensations had been played down, muffled. Now they are, say, amplified temporarily. They do of course signify motion and impetus, and they serve also to activate all other portions that are involved with walking’s activity.

To a lesser extent they affect the whole body, of course. The sensations are “leader sensations” meant to initiate cycles of other activity.

(Pause at 8:33.) Now give us a moment.... The sensations do portray beneficial change, and are stimulators. Now. A small segment this evening on television gave you a picture of the confused activity that can take place in exaggerated situations—the segment dealing with the abused children, for there you have parents reacting in the worst possible way to the religious dictums as interpreted by “Sinful Selves.” (I’d thought of that at the time. but didn’t mention it to Jane.)

(Pause.) The creative self is made to feel guilty for its own originality and productivity. (Long pause.) Added to all of this, you have varying social climates throughout a life. So the individual will also respond according to the cultural situation. If Ruburt understands these issues the entire affair will resolve itself, for he will feel at one with himself. (Pause.) He is getting rid of feelings and sensations however that have blocked his progress in the past. Again, the material should be read and discussed now, and let him mention specifically any events that come to mind naturally as you read or discuss the sessions.

(Pause at 8:56.) The intensity of the hip and leg sensations has already reached a peak, and will be subsiding—and your own assistance last evening was invaluable. The main issue, again, is to reassure that one important portion of Ruburt’s personality that the self is not sinful, not bad or evil, and to show it the limited nature of the framework that so defined it.

(And Jane’s leg sensations had returned to a degree. There was no doubt that she was uncomfortable as she sat on the couch. She didn’t know whether to watch television or have a cookie and milk, or go sit on the bed and make a few notes. As it turned out, we did go to bed perhaps half an hour early.)