“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(After supper Venice McCullough [Palmer] visited us. She and her husband are staying overnight at Bumbalo’s before she goes upstate to help her daughter while the granddaughter has an operation for a cleft palate. Venice seemed good, yet was heavier than ever. She dwarfed Jane as the two sat side by side on the couch. “Now there’s something she could do, something about by making a decision,” I said later, meaning her weight. I thought such a decision would be simple compared to the ones Jane is trying to cope with.

(Jane slept well last night and got up with me this morning. When she went into the bedroom for her 11 AM nap she ended up getting some forgotten memories about the dishonest treatment she’d received from her mother. Quite a bit of emotion was attached to the memories. “My mother assaulted me psychologically in front of others,” she said. “She was, what do you call it, a pathological liar....” Jane described several humiliating incidents her mother had perpetrated upon her. At the same time, it seemed obvious that these memories surfacing represented a therapeutic instance of what Seth had said would happen: memories bubbling to the surface where they could be examined and defused, instead of being kept repressed in the past. Very good, I told Jane.

(It was 8:20 when Venice left, and we sat for the session. The noises from the fireplace had been quite loud earlier, but now all was quiet. “They’re squirrels,” Frank Longwell had stated this noon. He promised to bring a ladder to the house next week so we could inspect the flue from the roof. I felt better: Squirrels at least would have a chance to get out—but fledgling birds?

His overconscientiousness as a young person, and his intense concern—overconcern—at times with the literal “truth” of any given situation, is and was largely his reaction to his mother’s habitual, often mischievous lying pattern. He had not realized that earlier.

His mother’s pathological lying meant that Ruburt had to assess and reassess any given situation as a child. He determined not to be malicious as his mother was. His anxiousness led to the most severe examinations of conscience, such examinations being a recommended Catholic practice.

It was also excellent that one such memory carried with it a direct emotional response. That kind of response means that there is communication between, say, the present and past areas of the psyche.

The Sinful Self was highly suspicious of any such activity. I believe we have begun an excellent natural therapy in that regard. Ruburt is working at all angles of the problem at other levels of consciousness now, and the Sinful Self is beginning to feel a new sense of give-and-take. (Pause.) Other portions of Ruburt’s personality do utilize our material also, of course, and we deal with a certain kind of natural pacing. It is an excellent idea to go over these sessions one at a time and keep the material in the forefront of consciousness for a while.

When memories come concerning his background, then these can be used to provide a necessary feedback system. Ruburt’s feelings of panic can then be understood as originating in response to a highly complicated, intense early life, and in concrete situations. There is no doubt that he was mistreated. Ruburt’s mind was concerned with the larger framework, however, in which his mother’s life existed. He could not be satisfied with an answer like, “That is what life is,” or with a simplistic denouncement of man’s basic nature.

The sessions themselves work to activate many different levels of activity, and to provide source material. Many of Ruburt’s current attitudes, for example, will at least make more sense to him as he sees that they originated in response to situations against which a child had no recourse. Ruburt did not tell anyone about his mother’s lying, for example, not until he was in his teens, and he was too ashamed of how his mother often treated him to tell anyone.

(9:21.) That treatment reinforced his beliefs that he must indeed be a wicked or sinful person. Remember all of this material, again, in the light of what was said about his public image. Where he felt he was expected to behave in an almost supersaintly fashion—for you have of course two completely different versions of the self there, each unreasonable.

(9:47 PM. “I feel you did it again,” Jane said as soon as she was out of trance, “hit on some real good stuff.”

(I thought so too. The first question automatically led to the following ones. There were many more to be asked, too. I was appalled, while thinking at the same time that perhaps at last we’ve finally reached the core of the problem, and can take steps to do something about it. The Sinful Self.... What a concept, I thought, speculating briefly about the untold damage it must have done to millions of people over the centuries. My first thought after the first question’s answer had been that it must be excised from Ruburt’s character, or at least that its beliefs must be changed so much that it becomes unrecognizable compared to what it is now.

(Jane turned on the television after a very brief discussion. I wanted badly to study this session with the idea of basing future questions upon it. I wanted to know how suffering could be good for the soul, among other questions, since from its supposedly exalted position one would hardly think the soul needed suffering to improve its position or understanding. My feelings toward the Sinful Self were certainly not charitable, nor was I about to concede it a state of grace in view of its damaging actions, even if Jane has ignored it and shut off communication. There is much to be learned here. Perhaps we’ve finally got a good hold on what needs to be done.)