“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(When she tried to get back to sleep, however, she kept waking up very sore, and took aspirin at 5 AM. At the same time she “knew my body was trying out some new positions in bed, like it used to before all this happened. I also knew I was working out some conflicts, and I wasn’t worried. But then after I decided to stay in bed when you got up, the panicky stuff started.... I tried to remember what Seth had said, and follow the feelings through so I wouldn’t repress any of them....”

Most people were too emotionally dependent upon the entire organization to let it go. (Long pause.) By the time Ruburt left the church, he thought that it had also lost its emotional pull upon him. He felt free, and he immediately leapt toward what you can generally think of as the scientific viewpoint.

(Long pause.) “The church” was not a hypothetical entity, but was encountered through Ruburt’s experience with the priests who visited, their effect upon his life and his poetry, and with the entire fabric of a young intense daily life. If the church became upset with what Ruburt wrote or read, then Father Ryan burned one of his books, or argued with his poetry, for example, so all of that was living emotional content.

It took some time before such a framework began to develop—a kind of double one—represented by my work and by his own—an excellent accomplishment, of course. Also an accomplishment that clearly stood out as a direct challenge to religion and science, that not only contradicted their theories but offered an alternate framework through which reality could be experienced.

(Long pause.) They had always been present, of course. He did not admit those feelings, however. They were pushed back further and further. They seemed especially humiliating in the light of what he thought his public position should be. They inspired all the doubts. I want it understood that those feelings nevertheless were often used as creative propellants. The other material recently given on the Sinful Self should be kept in mind along with this session.