“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(When she tried to get back to sleep, however, she kept waking up very sore, and took aspirin at 5 AM. At the same time she “knew my body was trying out some new positions in bed, like it used to before all this happened. I also knew I was working out some conflicts, and I wasn’t worried. But then after I decided to stay in bed when you got up, the panicky stuff started.... I tried to remember what Seth had said, and follow the feelings through so I wouldn’t repress any of them....”

(Then when I called her at noon, Jane cried for at least half an hour. It was hard for her to verbalize her feelings, to even tell me about them, but she felt waves of panic and fear sweep through her—not hidden or covered up now, but faced and admitted, although with much difficulty. These feelings lingered throughout the day, though they seemed to be about gone at session time. Perhaps it was just exhaustion, for she felt quite relaxed by now. We didn’t discuss the dreams or the crying experience, or even read a session after breakfast. Nor have I read her notes on the dreams. “I’d decided I’d deal directly with the world again in the first dream,” she said. She plans to type them for this session.

(This afternoon I mowed grass for the first time, and trimmed a tree or two. After returning to the house, I felt a return of my own panicky feelings in my chest and throat as I made ready for a nap. After I got up, the pendulum told me the feelings came because I resented having to do the yard work without Jane being able to help me. The fact of doing the work itself was innocent, I learned. Nor do I have heart trouble. Once I obtained the necessary information the feelings disappeared, and I was quite comfortable eating supper. And again, I did not discuss this situation with Jane.

Now: even as a young person, Ruburt was the type of person who was considered out of place, rebellious, or even slightly dangerous in any Roman Catholic congregation—particularly in the time of his own youth.

Most people were too emotionally dependent upon the entire organization to let it go. (Long pause.) By the time Ruburt left the church, he thought that it had also lost its emotional pull upon him. He felt free, and he immediately leapt toward what you can generally think of as the scientific viewpoint.

(Long pause.) Many other people were making that same leap at that time in your society. He was far from any scientist, of course. He did poorly in science in college, for that matter, for if his mind was too scientific for religious dogma, it was too creative and emotional for conventional scientific thought.

Science, of course, insists it searches for such knowledge, while at the same time narrowing its acceptable field of definitions so that it effectively blocks any information that does not agree with its own precepts. (Pause.) Both science and religion, generally speaking, provide certain services, which again generally speaking can be withheld to those who rebel against such authorities.

Ruburt’s creative abilities still had those classical models, yet because of his mind’s originality and his natural intuitive nature; those creative abilities were also fueled by unofficial information: he was always to some extent in strong connection with the knowledge possessed by his natural person—and that knowledge kept seeking expression. Its expression directly contradicted first religious then scientific precepts. It kept seeking a larger framework for its own fulfillment and expression, of course, and at the same time it seemed to Ruburt it brought about further dissension. It made him more of a rebel.

It took some time before such a framework began to develop—a kind of double one—represented by my work and by his own—an excellent accomplishment, of course. Also an accomplishment that clearly stood out as a direct challenge to religion and science, that not only contradicted their theories but offered an alternate framework through which reality could be experienced.