“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Yesterday was Easter, and a very quiet day in the neighborhood. We’ve been very busy. Jane called me at 8 PM for the session. We had lots to get information about.

(Then when I called her at noon, Jane cried for at least half an hour. It was hard for her to verbalize her feelings, to even tell me about them, but she felt waves of panic and fear sweep through her—not hidden or covered up now, but faced and admitted, although with much difficulty. These feelings lingered throughout the day, though they seemed to be about gone at session time. Perhaps it was just exhaustion, for she felt quite relaxed by now. We didn’t discuss the dreams or the crying experience, or even read a session after breakfast. Nor have I read her notes on the dreams. “I’d decided I’d deal directly with the world again in the first dream,” she said. She plans to type them for this session.

(The whole experience was obviously very therapeutic, and to me it seemed like an excellent sign of encountering beliefs that had helped create her Sinful Self. Truly, Jane has gone about as far physically as she can with her physical blockages: It was some little while before she could trust herself enough to get from her bed to the chair, and longer before she could move from her chair to the toilet seat.

(Watching her struggle to do this reminded me of the fix we both face, and that must be resolved. It was also a reminder of how far she had carried her resistance to change and confrontation with the Sinful Self—and often without my really understanding just how badly off she is. Once again in the bathroom I was amazed that any belief could have such a powerful effect upon a person that they would tolerate such physical limitations day after day, year after year, rather than to come to terms with them in an effort to obtain at least some relief. I’d still like some material from Seth on why the personality would choose to go to such lengths in the name of self- protection.... I didn’t mention any of this to Jane, since she had done so well today, but do want to make note of my feelings here.

(This afternoon I mowed grass for the first time, and trimmed a tree or two. After returning to the house, I felt a return of my own panicky feelings in my chest and throat as I made ready for a nap. After I got up, the pendulum told me the feelings came because I resented having to do the yard work without Jane being able to help me. The fact of doing the work itself was innocent, I learned. Nor do I have heart trouble. Once I obtained the necessary information the feelings disappeared, and I was quite comfortable eating supper. And again, I did not discuss this situation with Jane.