“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(After supper we talked about whether she might want to resume dictation for her intro to Dreams. By then I’d answered two of the three letters we’d received today, for both writers wanted to come here—one from California, the other from Australia. [We’d also had an unannounced visitor—a Korean woman lawyer—from Los Angeles the other day.] Naturally we’re turning away all visitors because of the time element.

(Long pause at 7:46, one of many.) If Ruburt once found himself imagining that he must be strong and perfect enough to help solve everyone else’s problems, now he found himself relatively helpless, and “undefended” —that is, his physical condition put him in a situation certainly where he felt helpless. The super-perfect, impractical self-image simply fell away: it could not survive such a situation.

(7:58.) The discomforts of a physical nature led to instant responses. He could enjoy the cooling drink (Coke), the change of position, the sudden relief of turning from one hip to another. His weaknesses were out in the open, dramatically presented, and from that point, unless he chose death he could only go forward: for suddenly he felt that there was after all some (underlined) room to move, that achievements were possible, where before all achievements seemed beside the point in the face of his expected superhuman activity.

(Long pause at 8:00.) In a manner of speaking, the Sinful Self created the superhuman self-image that demanded so much, and it encased Ruburt’s body as if in concrete. Well, that image cracked and crumbled in the hospital experience, leaving Ruburt with his more native, far more realistic image of himself. It is one he can work with.