“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

If earlier, however, Ruburt had the erroneous idea that he was going too fast—or would or could—and had to restrain himself and to exert caution, now he received the medical prognosis, the “physical proof” that such was not the case—and in fact that the opposite was true: he was too slow. If our words could not convince him, or his own understanding grasp the truth, then you had the “truth” uttered with all the medical profession’s authority—and if once a doctor had told him years ago how excellent was his hearing, the medical profession now told him that his slowness [his thyroid deficiency], helped impair his hearing to an alarming degree.

(Long pause at 7:46, one of many.) If Ruburt once found himself imagining that he must be strong and perfect enough to help solve everyone else’s problems, now he found himself relatively helpless, and “undefended” —that is, his physical condition put him in a situation certainly where he felt helpless. The super-perfect, impractical self-image simply fell away: it could not survive such a situation.

(7:58.) The discomforts of a physical nature led to instant responses. He could enjoy the cooling drink (Coke), the change of position, the sudden relief of turning from one hip to another. His weaknesses were out in the open, dramatically presented, and from that point, unless he chose death he could only go forward: for suddenly he felt that there was after all some (underlined) room to move, that achievements were possible, where before all achievements seemed beside the point in the face of his expected superhuman activity.

He will, then, continue to improve, because he has allowed himself some room for motion, for change of value fulfillment. Trust the body’s rhythms as these changes occur, however. Going out in the yard (this afternoon in a wheelchair, accompanied by her nurse) was an excellent case in point, important on practical and symbolic levels.

(Long pause at 8:00.) In a manner of speaking, the Sinful Self created the superhuman self-image that demanded so much, and it encased Ruburt’s body as if in concrete. Well, that image cracked and crumbled in the hospital experience, leaving Ruburt with his more native, far more realistic image of himself. It is one he can work with.