“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(I felt a bit tired, but thought the malaise was more psychological than anything else. Jane was also a bit depressed after reading my notes for Monday’s and Tuesday’s sessions, although she already knew their contents.

(She called me for the session at about 8 PM, although it was later than that before I was seated opposite her and starting on these notes. We were still waiting at 8:30.)

Ruburt was not responsible for the housekeeper’s death when he was in high school. He felt such accusations, however. Even those made him question the nature of reality. They were grist for the mill. They were the way the problem was stated.

(Long pause at 9:37.) In Ruburt’s case the core belief, again, in the Sinful Self was hard to differentiate, because it could appear in many other guises. It dropped its most obvious religious coloration for some time, and could simply appear as an unusually strong dedication to work and discipline. The Sinful Self has no use for play, because it believes so fervently that left alone it will indeed be lazy or childish, or fritter itself away—or, looking at it the other way, it fears that left alone it will only play, or will be slothful. You see this most clearly in Protestant theology.

(9:49 PM. I told Jane the session was very good. At times during it I’d felt somewhat overwhelmed, thinking of what we still had to learn and accomplish, as well as about what we hadn’t learned in the past: Why was it all taking so long? The thoughts stemmed from my rather somber mood before the session. But the session was very good, I saw, and at the same time I felt a renewed hope.)