“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

DELETED SESSION

(We haven’t had a session for three weeks now. To my mind, our situation has steadily deteriorated. I think it came to a head yesterday, when I finally realized that for the last few days Jane had cut down her visits to the bathroom to just two times a day—upon arising, and before going to bed. Her reason for this, when I questioned her, was that “it hurts to move. But I’m working on it.”

(We’ve had several of our famous discussions since the last session on March 25. I feel caught in contradictions—for if Jane’s new feelings in her hips and legs are signs of new muscular activity, as she thinks, and as Frank Longwell agrees, that’s good news; yet those same feelings, her acute and prolonged bodily discomfort, her aches and pains, have caused her to become almost totally inactive. As I wrote in question 13 some weeks ago now, she has surrendered just about all activity except that involved with getting up and lying down, eating, going to the bathroom on a very limited basis, and puttering about in her breezeway writing room for an hour or so on occasion. She’s managed to get her poetry book out to Prentice, and now is not at work on any writing. She’s even let go writing up her recent dream material, some of which has been excellent, with apparent precognitive information of a positive nature.

(The pendulum session was not a success, in my opinion. I didn’t think Jane asked specific-enough questions, that she was somehow reluctant to or unable to do so—even that she appeared to be somewhat ill at ease while using it. She was upset of course, and so was I. I went to bed very unhappy with our situation—and I suppose that that feeling helped lead me to the group of statements below the next morning, and this session.

(1. We are going to have sessions nightly, or at least several times a week, in a last-ditch effort to get to the bottom of the problem.

(5. The number of “crash” sessions held will depend on progress made, what help Seth can offer. I plan to try to objectively understand any beneficial effects there are. I don’t think of such sessions running indefinitely—perhaps three weeks or a month at the most.

(Jane has had several vivid dreams since we held the last session; they’ve been of the type described in recent private sessions—combinations of nightmarish events and characters, along with flashes of insight into the causes for the symptoms, and visions of herself walking normally, etc. But she’s written very little on them. However, they’ve been valuable in showing that she is still contending with previously buried fears. We keep hoping these will play in important part in letting her achieve more physical release. But at the moment it seems that everything is difficult, or worse, especially so when I worry about how far she has to go simply to get her legs to straighten out at least partially. I did feel, I told her, that a time of decision was very near.

(Jane sat on the couch in her usual position for the session, and I sat facing her across the coffee table while using her own chair. She spoke slowly much of the time, and often while sitting stiffly upright.)

In the background there is of course his reaction to the two books. Some of that material I have given. (Long pause.) Some is difficult to explain clearly, because Ruburt wanted to make sure of the validity of the sessions from the start, and because of other material given in the past, he did not fully accept the sessions or his own psychic abilities as an integral part of his personality—since they appeared relatively late in life, where the poetry, for example, had always more or less been apparent.

(9:02.) He felt a strong commitment to poetry and writing. He could not early accept the idea of having a mission in life outside of the simple one to write, which always propelled him. He examined the sessions thoroughly then for years, not feeling the same kind of self-assurance as he did, you see, with his “own” writing.

His own writing underwent its own kinds of transformation, however, and indeed it began those translations years ago, even before the sessions, so that for example even the science fiction could no longer contain or camouflage the larger intuitive framework that he was developing.

(Pause at 9:41.) You are conditioned to behave in certain fashions in times of stress, so it is indeed at such periods that old beliefs often seem to emerge with fresh force. I will deal with the situations involved, but I will also try to elicit the creative use of your own psychic and mental abilities, so that they can be directed specifically toward clearing up such issues—and I am of course willing to have daily sessions at your request.

(My questions are paraphrases of the ones I actually asked Seth, since I didn’t take the time to write them down because of their length during the session itself. But much of the phrasing is almost verbatim, since I made notes after the session, besides remembering them clearly.

(“Why has he responded to his feeling—how did you put it?” I asked as I rummaged through the session’s earlier pages, which I’d thrown on the floor beside the chair—“stalled, by giving up his physical mobility even more so now? I’m terribly concerned about all of this. I don’t understand why he can’t walk inside his own house, at least, where it’s safe. The whole thing has become very threatening.”

(9:46.) The closest answer I can give you, I thought, was clear in tonight’s session, but to clear it further: (Long pause.) He believed that his motion was blocked, that belief was physically expressed. It was to bring the situation out into the open, as indeed the feelings of panic also served to make him consciously aware of the difficulty—a difficulty that basically has to do with psychological motion and growth.

(Seth replied patiently:) I am giving you the best information that I can, and it would be better if you read the session thoroughly and understood it before forming new questions.

Have Ruburt make one simple request, and no other, before sleep: that he receive therapeutic healing experiences at all levels of his existence as he sleeps, beginning this evening. End of session.

(9:58 PM. Jane had done well. She was very quiet when she came out of trance. I felt that some sort of start had been made when I asked my questions and spoke my mind at the end of the session. As noted earlier, I’d wanted to interrupt a number of times while Seth was speaking.

(Jane remembered my talking to Seth—the longest exchange I’d had with him for years. She explained that in trance she was aware of my questions “in the back of her mind,” and of Seth answering them, and that in a way the questions would get in the way of what Seth was trying to say; they could interrupt too deeply; I’d known this from a few infrequent, much earlier, experiences in the sessions, and had often thought that if too persistent the questions could bring her out of trance. But now I felt that we had to do something drastic to make a start, and that we had achieved something.