“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(We haven’t had a session for three weeks now. To my mind, our situation has steadily deteriorated. I think it came to a head yesterday, when I finally realized that for the last few days Jane had cut down her visits to the bathroom to just two times a day—upon arising, and before going to bed. Her reason for this, when I questioned her, was that “it hurts to move. But I’m working on it.”

(We’ve had several of our famous discussions since the last session on March 25. I feel caught in contradictions—for if Jane’s new feelings in her hips and legs are signs of new muscular activity, as she thinks, and as Frank Longwell agrees, that’s good news; yet those same feelings, her acute and prolonged bodily discomfort, her aches and pains, have caused her to become almost totally inactive. As I wrote in question 13 some weeks ago now, she has surrendered just about all activity except that involved with getting up and lying down, eating, going to the bathroom on a very limited basis, and puttering about in her breezeway writing room for an hour or so on occasion. She’s managed to get her poetry book out to Prentice, and now is not at work on any writing. She’s even let go writing up her recent dream material, some of which has been excellent, with apparent precognitive information of a positive nature.

(The pendulum session was not a success, in my opinion. I didn’t think Jane asked specific-enough questions, that she was somehow reluctant to or unable to do so—even that she appeared to be somewhat ill at ease while using it. She was upset of course, and so was I. I went to bed very unhappy with our situation—and I suppose that that feeling helped lead me to the group of statements below the next morning, and this session.

(Jane didn’t sleep very well, so I didn’t call her this morning. Instead after breakfast I wrote down my list of points to discuss with her. I saw them as making a significant alteration—at least potentially—in our lives. But then, I thought, given our present situation our lives were going to change anyhow and perhaps drastically: her not going to the john properly wasn’t a good sign.

(Jane did get up by 10:30. and an hour later I initiated our little discussion. I read to her, and explained, each of the points on my list:

(“We’ve got to get the information,” I told Jane, and found myself repeating a lot of what I’d said to Seth; I felt the emotional charges behind the questions once again. Jane was very glum. “But I’m running into trouble coping with this thing,” I told her, “and I need your help. I have to get it, too—otherwise there are going to be drastic changes in our lives.”