“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(9:02.) He felt a strong commitment to poetry and writing. He could not early accept the idea of having a mission in life outside of the simple one to write, which always propelled him. He examined the sessions thoroughly then for years, not feeling the same kind of self-assurance as he did, you see, with his “own” writing.

(Long pause.) I have remarked before that part of the problem lies in discrepancies of growth. You spoke (today) of some artists painting formula paintings. For Ruburt to try to publish usual novels, for example, would not work: he has outgrown the formulas. At the same time, for many reasons there has been a difficulty in accepting the natural patterns of his own individualistic growth—and that is partially because there were no neat categories in which they seemed to naturally fall. So in searching out new ways, personally and creatively, Ruburt felt himself on insecure ground.

(This was one of the spots where I felt like interrupting Seth to protest that I for one—and Jane. too, I believe—do not take such benefits for granted. I try to be grateful each day for what we have, while still being aware that the mechanisms that deliver those benefits to us may operate largely on unconscious levels.)

This subject is a part of one that I plan as an evening’s discussion. Before, the feelings of panic remained largely hidden, and he has felt to some degree stalled of course for some time, apart from the two books involved.

(9:58 PM. Jane had done well. She was very quiet when she came out of trance. I felt that some sort of start had been made when I asked my questions and spoke my mind at the end of the session. As noted earlier, I’d wanted to interrupt a number of times while Seth was speaking.

(Jane remembered my talking to Seth—the longest exchange I’d had with him for years. She explained that in trance she was aware of my questions “in the back of her mind,” and of Seth answering them, and that in a way the questions would get in the way of what Seth was trying to say; they could interrupt too deeply; I’d known this from a few infrequent, much earlier, experiences in the sessions, and had often thought that if too persistent the questions could bring her out of trance. But now I felt that we had to do something drastic to make a start, and that we had achieved something.

(“We’ve got to get the information,” I told Jane, and found myself repeating a lot of what I’d said to Seth; I felt the emotional charges behind the questions once again. Jane was very glum. “But I’m running into trouble coping with this thing,” I told her, “and I need your help. I have to get it, too—otherwise there are going to be drastic changes in our lives.”