“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Yesterday marked the beginning of Jane’s third week home from the hospital, and lately I’ve been trying to gently encourage her to begin a series of private sessions in an effort to learn what we can about the whole hospital-health-establishment belief system, and our part in it through and with the Seth material. I was eager to get Jane started on a program of self-therapy through the Seth material in order to help her counter—or at least supplement—the standard rigid medical framework we’ve been encountering for the last month, or since she went into the hospital on February 26, 1982. [She was discharged on March 28.]

(I’m also trying to whip up some enthusiasm to begin work on Seth’s latest book, Dreams, “Evolution,” and Value Fulfillment, for which we recently signed the contract, and took money. [The contract was countersigned on March 22.] “Don’t worry,” I said to Jane in the hospital, “I know who’s going to do the rest of the work on the book....” Meaning that I could see she wasn’t going to be able to contribute much physical work on it at this time. Therefore, actually producing the physical work for the publisher was going to be up to me, and I was anxious to begin work on this once we’ve established some sort of viable daily routine revolving around Jane’s nursing care, sleeping schedule, medication, etc.

(A note: Jane has mentioned several times since returning home that Seth may dictate a biography of her—presumably including her hospital experiences, etc. It took me a few days to realize that this is a unique idea—certainly it hasn’t been done before. “Every so often I get ideas about it,” she said, but not from Seth, at least yet.... that when you’re a kid you pick up certain ideas about what kind of a person you want to be—from a photograph, a corner of life, an edge, and you put all those little things together into a personality. You draw upon the people you share your new environment with. Everybody does this, and it’s much more forceful a thing in the formation of personality that people realize....”

(Jane still nods off as she sits in her chair, especially after supper, which we take to be an indication that her thyroid is still below par, although she’s much improved in that regard over her condition before she entered the hospital. The drifting off worries her, however. Even as I sat beside her at the round card table in the living room, writing these notes, she kept nodding off into sleep. I’d spent some little time trying to talk her into a short session to begin with, and she’d finally agreed to try for one. It was 8:52 when she really fell asleep in her chair, for perhaps the tenth time. I could see that we’d get no session tonight. Yet she woke up. “I’m just waiting—I feel so funny....”

(Jane went easily into trance as usual. Her Seth voice was stronger than I’d expected it to be, yet with an underlying tremor that I’d noticed on a number of other occasions since Jane had returned from the hospital.)

Therefore, a kind of momentary gap appeared between his life and his living of it—a pause and a hesitation (pause) became obvious between his life and what he would do with it, as his condition showed just before the hospital hiatus.

(A note: I haven’t answered fan mail since bringing Jane home from the hospital on March 28, and already it is beginning to pile up. I kept up with it religiously while visiting Jane each day for the month she was in the hospital. Since returning to the house, though, I’ve had absolutely no time at all for the mail, and have stopped answering it except for business and an occasional exceptional letter, or a request for a visit, etc. I don’t know whether I regret my actions or not. Now the mail has retreated way into the background, even though I don’t forget what it means, that we get such a response from what we do, and that each of those writers is sincere, and in my opinion deserving of an answer.