“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(We have had two short “sessions,” during which Jane dictated passages for the intro to Dreams while I wrote down her words. Not Seth trances, by the way. She did this work herself, presumably in a sort of altered state, and has made a good start here. I have yet to type that material, but will start it after finishing this session.

(A note: Jane has mentioned several times since returning home that Seth may dictate a biography of her—presumably including her hospital experiences, etc. It took me a few days to realize that this is a unique idea—certainly it hasn’t been done before. “Every so often I get ideas about it,” she said, but not from Seth, at least yet.... that when you’re a kid you pick up certain ideas about what kind of a person you want to be—from a photograph, a corner of life, an edge, and you put all those little things together into a personality. You draw upon the people you share your new environment with. Everybody does this, and it’s much more forceful a thing in the formation of personality that people realize....”

(The contradictory thing was, as I’d told her the other day, that I didn’t think we were going to get anywhere in solving our dilemmas until we tapped into the session routine again. Otherwise, we’d be left to struggle within the establishment just as everyone else did. Yet each time I wanted to try something, Jane was having difficulty focusing. Just as I was about to give up for this evening, Jane came awake again and said rather firmly, “I’ve passed a certain point, Bob, and now I can do it....” meaning that she’d have a session after all. “But it’ll be a real short one.” And I knew it would be good.

I will help you still further understand those manipulations. For many people—most people—carry on the same kind of procedures while making important decisions as to whether or not they will continue life at any given time—but they hide the issues from themselves far more than Ruburt did.

(Long pause at 9:18.) Give us a moment.... The arthritis situation is as I gave it, but you are still faced with the medical interpretation of that situation, so that it is up to Ruburt to set it aside. He is returning to activity at his creative, naturally therapeutic pace, no longer afraid that he is going too fast—or will —but shown only too clearly that activity and motion represent the only safe, sane, and creative response.

We do not want long drawn-out discussions of why and what exactly happened, simply to understand the dynamics of the activity. Ruburt can work with the self-image he has now. It is imperfect, but it is pliable and willing to change.

(9:25 PM. Jane’s pace had generally been okay, considering the circumstances. “I felt like when I got slow there a couple of times that it didn’t have anything to do with dozing off,” she said, referring to a few longer pauses. “It was just a normal, I don’t know, thing....” I told her she’d done well. “It was more than I thought I could do,” she said, “but I really got worried tonight when I started dozing off like that.” I replied that all along I’d felt she could do more than she’d thought she could, and such had been the case.

(Sue Watkins has offered to help with the mail, but I don’t know what to do —guess I’m afraid that once it’s out of our house and hands the situation would turn into a mess. I also don’t want to give up physical possession of the letters, I notice. One option we’ve considered is having a temporary postcard printed up referring to our hassles with Jane’s illness, that we can’t answer mail at this time except to say thanks, and that later we may be able to. I think that at the moment that’s our best way to go, even if it means broadcasting the fact of Jane’s troubles. At least the replies would be from us....)