“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(First, though: Last week I received from our eye doctor, Jim Adams, the usual card telling me that it had been two years since my eyes had been examined and new glasses prescribed. At first I put it out of my mind, but soon began to be bothered by a mild feeling of strain, especially when painting—without glasses, by the way. I thought suggestion was operating, that I was telling myself I needed new glasses, whereas before receiving the notice I’d felt okay.

(After spending several rather uncomfortable days, I gave in over the weekend and decided to call for an appointment this morning. I hoped for a quick one—and got it for this afternoon through a cancellation. When JA examined me I got a very pleasant surprise, for he told me that my eyes had improved over last time, and that they were now bothering me because my present glasses were getting to be too strong. I’d thought it was the opposite, of course. JA also seemed surprised, and double-checked his data to make sure he was correct. Moreover, when the new lenses were assembled in his machine for me to check my vision, I was able to read 15-20 [or 20-15?], another improvement over the normal 20-20.

(“I must be doing something right,” I said to Jane when I returned to the house, and explained the situation to her. I should add that as I was backing the car out of the driveway to keep the appointment, Leonard Yaudes pulled in, for the first

time since he’d had his bypass heart surgery. It had been Leonard’s illness that had triggered a set of symptoms of my own, which Seth has been treating in these recent deleted sessions. Indeed, today was the first day in some time—at least a number of days—when I hadn’t noticed some sort of chest symptoms of some degree, light or stronger. It took me a while to realize that Leonard’s arrival was hardly a coincidence, although I had trouble being specific mentally about just what I meant by that understanding. Seth also comments.

(Pause.) Your dreams involving worries about sexuality actually represented, of course, worries about your worth as a contributing person, your sex and work being thus equated. Knowing that, had the eye affair been a dream, it could also be interpreted as a sexual regeneration. It is a physical answer in fact to the worries initiated by your friend Leonard’s difficulties, and therefore it was no coincidence that he was here today.

(10:30 PM. Jane felt much better than she had before the session. Naturally, Seth’s material about a physical regeneration makes me think about other parts of the body regenerating itself—and Jane’s too. When we got up this morning I told Jane that I’d had a dream that we’d been participating in group sex at a party, but that I couldn’t recall anything more than that. No one we know was in the dream, and actually I recalled only the preliminary stages of the affair, not any actual sexual activity.

(I must admit the next day, as I type these notes, that regeneration or no, I had a “relapse” into the old chest difficulty this afternoon after washing the bedroom windows at Jane’s request. The physical labor involved was minimal and took only a few minutes, coming after Jane had almost tearfully asked—even demanded—this noon that I try to keep the windows cleaner. The symptoms, rather strong at times, bothered me through the afternoon, and prevented me from napping comfortably. I finally ended up rereading a couple of the private sessions on the chest difficulty, and the trouble seemed to largely abate itself by the time we were eating supper.

(Jane. of course, was very upset by my chest difficulty, telling me after her nap that she was very worried, bothered of course by the fact that she’d asked me to wash windows. It will be remembered that one of my stronger reactions last month had come about after I washed windows, too. I told her that I agreed the situation was somewhat discouraging, since it seemed I hadn’t learned much from all of this upset of the last couple of months. I’d felt good yesterday for the first time in a long while, again, and told Jane that even though I’d quite forgotten the problems yesterday, today’s events showed that they hadn’t been solved, but merely temporarily forgotten until triggered again.