“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Separate: You wanted some affirmation of your body’s vitality, of its resilience and recuperative energies. You also wanted some reassurance that you could operate as an artist as long as you chose in this life. You used the incident of the optometrist’s notice to give yourself a very fine lesson, for in the back of your mind you did indeed worry and wonder that your eyes were becoming tired. Under usual circumstances, those “symptoms” would be interpreted as signs of difficulty. You discovered instead that the so-called symptoms are signs that your glasses have become too strong because your eyesight has not simply held its own, but most remarkably improved, and in a way that is medically demonstrable.

(Pause.) Your dreams involving worries about sexuality actually represented, of course, worries about your worth as a contributing person, your sex and work being thus equated. Knowing that, had the eye affair been a dream, it could also be interpreted as a sexual regeneration. It is a physical answer in fact to the worries initiated by your friend Leonard’s difficulties, and therefore it was no coincidence that he was here today.

(I must admit the next day, as I type these notes, that regeneration or no, I had a “relapse” into the old chest difficulty this afternoon after washing the bedroom windows at Jane’s request. The physical labor involved was minimal and took only a few minutes, coming after Jane had almost tearfully asked—even demanded—this noon that I try to keep the windows cleaner. The symptoms, rather strong at times, bothered me through the afternoon, and prevented me from napping comfortably. I finally ended up rereading a couple of the private sessions on the chest difficulty, and the trouble seemed to largely abate itself by the time we were eating supper.

(Jane. of course, was very upset by my chest difficulty, telling me after her nap that she was very worried, bothered of course by the fact that she’d asked me to wash windows. It will be remembered that one of my stronger reactions last month had come about after I washed windows, too. I told her that I agreed the situation was somewhat discouraging, since it seemed I hadn’t learned much from all of this upset of the last couple of months. I’d felt good yesterday for the first time in a long while, again, and told Jane that even though I’d quite forgotten the problems yesterday, today’s events showed that they hadn’t been solved, but merely temporarily forgotten until triggered again.