“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(For the past few days I’ve done little “creative” work, beyond working on my watercolor portrait of Mrs. Johnson, the subject of my dream of last November, for an hour or two in the mornings; then in the afternoons I’ve typed these sessions and written the required notes for the record. I’ve done a lot of yard work—it seems to be a very therapeutic activity at this time—and worked on filing. I feel considerably better, to my great relief, although the stomach isn’t cleared yet as much as I would like. The discomfort in the groin/testicle area is much less, at times absent altogether, and I believe that my steady rereading of Seth’s recent private material for me has helped a great deal here. I’ve also taken to using mental imagery in this field, and will continue to do so for some time; I think there’s no reason why that can’t be effective also. It’s something I’ve largely neglected in past periods of discomfort. I haven’t gone back to the pendulum yet. I read Jane’s prayer for her, and Seth’s New Year resolutions for me. The more I study those, the more I realize how good they are.

(10:06.) Ruburt is doing well with the walking, and he is more and more aware of relaxation of various portions of the body. In fact—in fact—his body can heal itself overnight. All of this boils down to what I have said unceasingly (whispering) about trusting the spontaneous self—for in the most simple of terms, you do not need poor mobility as a working method for any reasons, if you trust the spontaneous self in its dealings with the conscious personality and with the world.

If you trust the spontaneous self, then automatically you do not need such a framework, but you must learn to allow it its expression. Ruburt’s idea of seeing your psychiatrist (Dr. Beahrs) is good in that regard. Do not be so afraid, neither of you, of making mistakes, or spending a bad evening or two.

(10:15.) Now: you can express the same statements in other ways, by being willing to make decisions on their own basis: “Yes, I want to do this. No, I do not want to do that,” instead of providing yourself with a blanket excuse, as Ruburt has done. Neither of you have really wanted to be free to go on trips, to be in a position where you must decide whether or not you wanted to speak here or there. And beside that, Ruburt had his own concerns with spontaneity and discipline.

He is doing well. He can do far better, and the way to begin is to allow the spontaneous self as much freedom as he can in daily life, and to trust its expression—that it knows his psychic and creative needs, his physical needs, his social and financial needs, and all of these can be taken care of.

Again, to some extent now (underlined), both of you wanted a framework that would allow you what you thought of as freedom to work. Ruburt is learning that even he went too far, but I do want you still to think of the symptoms as a well-meaning but distorted structure that can dissolve—and can dissolve overnight when Ruburt understands it is no longer needed or wanted. It is a method that he tried, but it did not work because it defeated its own purposes.

I do not want him to feel guilty about it. You are aided and abetted, of course, because of previous beliefs of society, where illness is a quite acceptable method of procedure, where it is considered normal. It is a method, therefore, that belongs with those old beliefs, and should be discarded with them.

This session should be of value at this particular time, but I do not want you to dwell upon the reasons for the condition. I want Ruburt to stress instead the expression of the spontaneous self. There are many methods from your point of view, some better than others, of course; and what I am saying this evening is largely directed to you with my knowledge of your viewpoints. In still greater terms, each life experience is unique so that it is literally impossible to put labels, such as “positive” or “negative” upon any aspect of experience, so keep this in mind also.

Do you have any questions?