“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Last night April 23, Monday, Rob suddenly got super-relaxed and really floppy before our scheduled Seth session. In the meantime though as I went into the john, I started to pick up some of the things Seth was going to discuss, and after Rob began his odd relaxation, I got more. As best as I could I told Rob what I was getting. We decided not to have the session—I don’t think Rob could have taken notes anyhow; besides I wanted him to take advantage of what was happening.

(We should consider such changes as a part of our working life, to provide refreshment; otherwise we just stew because we’re not “creative or working” or whatever....even furniture rearranging or changing whole rooms to different functions can be considered a vacation of a sort, and while I’ve always felt guilty at involving Rob in changing furniture—but do, anyhow. Seth said this was good sense and impulse on my part....

(Late yesterday afternoon [Monday], we were visited by Larry Dowler of the Yale Archives. He told us many things and answered—and asked—many questions. Seth came through briefly several times, and very humorously, to handle certain questions himself. Among other things, he said that “there is no place for the Seth material to be kept,” that “you have to make a place for it, for it is unique.” The interludes weren’t recorded, to my regret. Seth did express his own willingness to have the material available to the public, but Jane and I are much less sure of that.

(Tam has rejected Stefan Schindler’s book on Seth – he did so last week—so this morning Jane called Eleanor Friede to see if she wanted to examine the work. Again, no. Then Jane called S. Schindler with that news; he in turn has “a list” of West Coast publishers he wants to try, evidently thinking the university press route won’t work.

(In the last three days I’ve learned a number of interesting things about my continuing physical upsets—and will list some of my pendulum material should any portion of this session refer to them. The deleted session for April 18 has helped a great deal. My own insights through the pendulum tell me, for example, why Seth in that last private session said I have a “nervous stomach,” but nothing about the other hassles like, say, the side or groin. [It all seems to stem from the initial stomach difficulty.] I need to study more. I still don’t want to burden Jane with a series of sessions on my own problems. I know I can—and am—working them out. Each bit of information is bound to help.

(As soon as she saw that I couldn’t take notes. Jane began describing to me what she’d started to pick up from Seth about my condition. I was both very interested and so far out in my own world of sensation that I could hardly comment. I was taking a “body vacation,” she told me. She said much more, which she wrote about briefly Tuesday afternoon at my request. Her notes are inserted at the end of my notes. Seth, Jane said, would explain the whole thing in the next session, whenever that would be held.

(But nevertheless, I knew I was having a most beneficial experience, and one that might very well head off other, deeper troubles. This I understood quite clearly. I believed Jane-Seth’s material about my being on a “body vacation.” It was impossible for me not to believe it, considering that I’d felt so poorly since early in the month, and that I was so much better right now. I just hoped more beneficial results would flow from the experience, and I was appalled that I’d been that badly off, that “tight,” so that my body greatly needed such a drastic kind of relief.

(I slept at once. although Jane lay awake until about 2 AM. I felt many reminders and remnants of the experience throughout the next day—Tuesday—especially in the arms and legs: They were often loose and floppy, with a peculiar lightness and ease of motion in the joints particularly. At my request Jane wrote her account of the non-session events of last night, and it’s attached. I noticed more signs of the same sort of relaxation before tonight’s session was due, and wondered if I could focus upon Seth clearly enough, or write fast enough. After a number of hesitations, which only confused Jane as to what I really wanted to do, I sat for the session.

(“Good evening, Seth.”)

(“Thank you very much, Seth.”)

(10:09 PM. “Before the session.” Jane said, “I told Seth I wanted whatever was necessary to help you. I didn’t care what it was. I’d stay out of the way as much as possible. If you were sick of me, or wanted out—anything—I just wanted to know so you’d get better. I know you love me, but maybe you get sick of my running your life or something like that....”

(Jane said more. She was so emphatic and serious that I had to laugh, though in a subdued way, for I still felt lingering effects from my deep relaxation of last night. I was, for instance, a bit slow writing these notes—yet, oddly, I’d been able to keep up with Seth all right during the session itself.