“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(After supper Jane offered to have a session for me because during the day I’d had a number of recurrences of the panic feelings in my chest. The first one came early this morning after I’d shoveled but a few scoops of snow in the driveway—no work involved at all, really, but I had to quit for fear of having an “attack” of some kind.

(Then this noon we received from Prentice-Hall copies of the revised index for Volume 1 of “Unknown,” plus new page proofs of the type chosen for Volume 2—a matter we’d thought already settled. We liked everything except that I thought the italic type looked rather crowded compared to that used in Volume 1. Jane thought it looked okay. After lunch I had her call Ethel Waters at Prentice-Hall to tell her everything was okay, simply to get rid of the worries about the book.

(However, the feelings of unease and/or panic returned after supper, and Jane offered the session. I explained to her my reservations about the italic typeface, and my attempts to free myself of book concerns. I finally had to choose to place my physical condition first, thinking that more important than anything else. Many others had obviously thought the typefaces chosen for Volume 2 were okay, I said, so what was I doing, worrying about something like that, wanting to tell others how to do their jobs?

(I finally concluded it wasn’t worth it, and hoped Jane would adopt some of this thinking for some of her own challenges. The pendulum, incidentally, agreed that my concern over the typeface caused my concerned feelings after supper.

(Jane surprised me by mentioning a session at about 7:40. By the time she called me to sit for it, it was 8:35—and her mood had changed. Before she’d felt “clear-headed.” Now she had questions, and wished we’d gone right into the session as soon as she had mentioned it. As we waited for the session to begin, I read her the first questions I’d noted down from rereading the 367th session—Seth’s first comprehensive session on her symptoms, and one that’s been referred to rather often lately. I still want to study all of those early personal sessions, but haven’t progressed far because of all the new material we’ve been getting lately. But they’re always there, waiting. I didn’t expect Seth to go into my written questions this evening, although he did refer to several of them, if rather obliquely....)

(9:15 PM. I might add that I don’t think I for one believe any longer that worrying is the answer to very much, as Seth says Jane and I still believe, nor do I think that fear is going to act as a stimulus to positive action. I’ve disabused myself of such thoughts, with Seth’s considerable help. I still worry, obviously, but have no illusions about it helping anything. The call to Prentice today was an effort to free one area of life. I told Jane today that this week I’d pay our taxes a few days ahead of time—another effort to get free....)