“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Perfectionists, however, not only take a dim view of problems, but consider each one a blot, a proof of inferiority in themselves or others and they see such blots everywhere. They are in a certain fashion overly conscientious, and they fear spontaneity lest it be less than perfect. They fear flaws.

This session you read (the 367th) applied mostly to Ruburt, yet you also have what I will call an overly conscientious self in battle with the spontaneous self (a fact I’m well aware of, and had discussed with Jane before tonight’s session). You have actually grown somewhat more spontaneous. Why not—since Ruburt was nicely expressing the overly conscientious selves of both of you?

No one can completely do that for anyone else, of course, so you have your own struggles with spontaneity. Ruburt’s spontaneous self was by far the most active, and so his defenses against it, as the overly conscientious self, were more obvious than yours.

Your struggles earlier, before you met Ruburt, involved relationships, in that you had no deep ones, allowing yourself to become close to no one. When you fell in love with Ruburt, a part of you was appalled, for it felt it must hold itself ever aloof—and in those days Ruburt’s spontaneous self often met a response from your overly conscientious self, so that you appeared cold to him, and in repelling his spontaneity you were of course frightened to reveal your own.

Ruburt’s condition, in a way, stops you from hurting others. If you close the door in the world’s face, it is because Ruburt cannot walk properly. The overly conscientious self on both of your parts to a strong degree becomes a composite personality. Its beliefs are invisible because you accept them unthinkingly. The next few old sessions should be read. You have both largely, except in your work, now, cut spontaneity from your lives; your habits are so set.

In that regard you do not challenge yourselves, and to that extent your work also suffers. Instead of (hypnotic) advisors, try to set up a dialogue, each of you, with the overly conscientious self, reminding it that spontaneity knows its own order—and that its defenses are overdone, with the best of good intent.

You must think in terms of surprises, of spontaneity, of changed rhythms. Between now and our next session, read that group of old ones, and each of you attempt to reach your own overly conscientious self.