“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

DELETED SESSION

(In the last session Seth promised to begin dictation on his latest book after a long layoff, but as things turned out the book was not begun anew. Instead I asked that he deal with the challenges Jane and I still face, and apparently are unable to resolve—her symptoms, and my own feelings of panic, and related symptoms, as mentioned also in the last session.

(I also planned to start reviewing the first deleted sessions Seth gave on Jane’s symptoms, for I’ve never really forgotten them and always felt they were as good as any Seth has ever given on those subjects. The main one, the breakthrough session as I think of it, was the 367th for October 1, 1967. I read it over just before tonight’s session began, and was able to reaffirm my opinion that it’s still one of the best; at the same time it aroused questions, for it deals with causes in the past. According to Seth’s suggested use of the point of power, and his late deleted material, one isn’t supposed to dwell on the past, but go forward from the present—two major blocks of material, I told Jane this evening, that at first glance seem to contradict each other.

(I added that I doubt if they really do, but that the views need integration for us to understand it all clearly as a unified theory—sort of like field theory in physics, perhaps. I assume it will take lots of work to accomplish this, but am inserting these thoughts here as a remainder of one of the things I want to accomplish this year in this area. Jane and I also plan a list of questions for Seth on the whole situation, and I see these as accumulating into a notebook to accompany these sessions. I think we’ve already achieved some insights that we’ve let slide or didn’t understand.

(At this writing at least I plan to spend evenings typing new session material, and in the time left over to restudy the past material in the hopes of putting it all together with and/or without Seth’s help. But out of this work I expect our questions for Seth will come. I’m deeply troubled by Jane’s condition, and by what I regard as her strange passivity in the face of it; clues to this attitude exist in the 367th session. I’m sure my own role in the whole thing is a strong one, and that in my own way I’m as badly off as she is, although it may not show physically.

(I especially think Seth’s remarks in the last deleted session—for January 1, 1979, to be apropos: “You question your own characteristics, and so your accomplishments fade in your eyes.” I suppose what I want to know is why we must question those characteristics—or at least why we, meaning anyone, cannot live in harmony with them. Then at least we’d know some little peace of mind. As it is, that quality is very rare to us.

(Jane too read over the 367th session before the session this evening. It seems that essentially our situation is unchanged, 12 years later, which doesn’t say much for our learning capacities, I’m afraid. When the session began I half expected Seth to tell us to stay away from old deleted sessions, since as mentioned delving into the past can cause too intense a focus there, and reinforce problems, whatever they may be. But he didn’t. I said to Jane later that it seems Seth will tailor his material to suit our needs and/or moods of the moment, which may be one of the ways to integrate blocks of his material into a larger whole, which can display many facets or approaches.)

Now: Because of your frames of mind, this will be the first of several sessions dealing specifically with your problems.

Now in close marriages or those of long duration, there is a kind of superimposed family personality, a composite, to which each member contributes, and to which all members respond. In a relationship like yours and Ruburt’s this applies in a very intense manner. What you read in the old session this evening still applies to a large extent. It should be noted, as Ruburt said, that the poverty angle was largely eradicated—yet you (to me) preserve it in your worries about taxes, for example—for those feelings of resentment still help you continue to feel impoverished and virtuous. They serve to disconnect you from any opulent income status—put you back with the poor where you feel you belong; and hence you imagine the greater, the far greater incomes of other people, and in that comparison you come out put-upon—but again, virtuous.

This session you read (the 367th) applied mostly to Ruburt, yet you also have what I will call an overly conscientious self in battle with the spontaneous self (a fact I’m well aware of, and had discussed with Jane before tonight’s session). You have actually grown somewhat more spontaneous. Why not—since Ruburt was nicely expressing the overly conscientious selves of both of you?

Now: you had of course other problems that he was not experienced enough to see, and at the time the sessions began you were both at a low point. The release of psychic energy involved, regardless of me, was literally a new birth, bringing forth an impetus for change and creative activity. In an important sense, Ruburt’s abilities as a writer found their forte. He had found his direction —though that direction did not follow his beliefs. He was naturally meant to go in areas that would confound his earlier upbringing.

His concern about your health also operated as a strong impetus, allowing him to break through usual frameworks, and the sessions did give you the knowledge you needed to recover.

Ruburt’s condition, in a way, stops you from hurting others. If you close the door in the world’s face, it is because Ruburt cannot walk properly. The overly conscientious self on both of your parts to a strong degree becomes a composite personality. Its beliefs are invisible because you accept them unthinkingly. The next few old sessions should be read. You have both largely, except in your work, now, cut spontaneity from your lives; your habits are so set.

You must think in terms of surprises, of spontaneity, of changed rhythms. Between now and our next session, read that group of old ones, and each of you attempt to reach your own overly conscientious self.

Behind all of this is the feeling that exposure is dangerous, that your true feelings must be hidden, and that the world is unsafe—hence your need for defenses. Read this session also over together, and follow all the suggestions I have given you.

(10:14. I was surprised at the early ending of the session. “I probably had more,” Jane said, “but I was feeling so sickly by then that I just quit....”

What I want to say will wait, for I want you to read those old sessions first —and in all of this remember Framework 2, which deals with creative change, which is growth. End of session, and a fond good evening.