“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(A note: While taking my usual walk on Crestwood Avenue at about 10 PM last night, I saw a herd of eight deer cross the street; they moved into a small patch of woods that I judged to be just below Stamps’ house on Pinnacle; if they continued on that course they might have ended up crossing Pinnacle right by our own house. I spotted the deer, moving across the lighted street like gray-brown ghosts, just as I turned onto Crestwood from Greenaway. For some reason they didn’t hear or see me, or if they did they didn’t care much. There was a very light dusting of snow, typical of our winter this year. There were several young animals in the group. I don’t recall seeing any antlers on the mature animals, but could have missed them. The first several deer, crossing the street perhaps fifty feet ahead of me, surprised me so that I stopped in my tracks, unbelieving, seeking to understand what I was seeing. I think that most, if not all of the houses on Crestwood had lights on, so the neighborhood was hardly deserted.

Now: Had you been following your natural impulses, your body cells would have picked up that message easily. You received them in any case, because of your connections with your friend, your affection for him, and the years of association in the old apartment house. Had you been relaxed, following your impulses, and unhampered by the fearful beliefs that your friend’s condition also aroused, then those cellular messages would have been smoothly translated into an impulse to call Leonard, or to have Ruburt call. Your fears got in the way. Whenever you thought of Leonard, you told yourself to forget it.

(In the call this morning, Jane learned that Leonard had overdone his physical activities at the house, and suffered some discomfort as a result. His doctor told him to take it easy, as did his sister-in-law. The errand he needed doing involved purchasing a thermometer. He told Jane it hadn’t occurred to him to ask me to get it for him; instead he’d called another friend. So did Leonard pick up my own fears about his situation, and avoid calling me because of them?