“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Then in today’s mail Jane received a letter from another doctor, as well as from a professor of mathematics – also signs that the Seth material was capable of wider appeal. I said that we should be grateful for these signs, and that they may be more widespread than we realize. Then Jane dictated the words quoted above, saying Seth would probably cover them in tonight’s session.

(It happened shortly after Frank Longwell’s visit at lunchtime, during which we discussed a new arrangement for the stove/cooking area of the kitchen. This would be a sign of the spontaneous change Seth mentioned in a late session. Then the day after this session was held, Frank returned at noon with literature on what stove units are available, prices, et cetera, so the discussion proceeded further.)

It was you who suggested the ESP book, and you also early decided not to become a part of the American mainstream of life. You did not have a strong drive to have a family. You avoided heavy sexual relationships also. Both of you, before you met, knew that you wanted to study and observe from your own viewpoints. You felt that a family life would automatically plunge you into the kind of living that would not allow you such luxury. At the same time, both of you to some extent feared what you thought of as the power of sex. Again, Freudian beliefs that filled the books and movies led you both in your own ways to fear that your energies could be “swallowed” by sexuality—that to some extent you had so much energy, and that most of it must go into creative work.

There are bodies, in those terms, who do not want to have physical offspring. They are not faulty. They fit in with nature’s plans, and with the psychological plans of the personalities involved. You were rather repressed at that period, frightened about your own work, and sometimes you would ignore Ruburt’s occasional sexual advances when you happened to be in your studio. He felt he was too spontaneous, again, too impulsive—but then in that belief system he worried if his sexual needs could not be properly squashed, supposing someone else aroused them, and he “fell in love” with someone else as quickly as he had fallen in love with you. Or worse—supposing your repressed sexuality was repressed because of your joint work, and supposing you fell in love with someone else, and became sexually aroused for another?

The hay fever began early, the example set by your father, and you used it to temper your activities in terms of sports in particular, because your intents overall did not want you to go in that direction. You kept those physical abilities around, though—the feeling for sports—in school, with the idea that you could fall back upon them if need be. But you would have considered that a partial failure. Your high-school art teacher, Miss Bowman, lent you the money to study art in New York City.