“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

He thought of himself as overly impulsive. Very seldom did he yell back at his mother. An impulsive child might have done far more. He refrained from heavy sexual encounters—certainly not the behavior of a sexually impulsive person. He knew he didn’t want a family.

It was you who suggested the ESP book, and you also early decided not to become a part of the American mainstream of life. You did not have a strong drive to have a family. You avoided heavy sexual relationships also. Both of you, before you met, knew that you wanted to study and observe from your own viewpoints. You felt that a family life would automatically plunge you into the kind of living that would not allow you such luxury. At the same time, both of you to some extent feared what you thought of as the power of sex. Again, Freudian beliefs that filled the books and movies led you both in your own ways to fear that your energies could be “swallowed” by sexuality—that to some extent you had so much energy, and that most of it must go into creative work.

The excellence in sports, however, also involved the accepted thing to do. Sports even then were looked up to. Rewards were instantaneous for good performance. This involves black-and-white thinking again, however, for you thought of “perfect performance” in sports—high excellence. Something like the driveway usually involves an inner dilemma: “Shall I do creative work or physical activity?” in rather absolute terms.

Give us a moment.... Because you have not seen yourselves clearly, you cannot see or judge the difference in your quality of thought from your early adult years, for example, or perceive what you have learned. But all of your difficulties are based to one extent or another on self-rejection that has gone unquestioned.

If Ruburt walks, he is not suddenly going to turn into a television personality and ignore his inner work. He is not that kind of person.Misunderstandings of your own abilities and characteristics are responsible for such unfortunate conclusions. Again, the New Year resolutions, really understood, can help you, for they will dissolve such thoughts.