“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

It was you who suggested the ESP book, and you also early decided not to become a part of the American mainstream of life. You did not have a strong drive to have a family. You avoided heavy sexual relationships also. Both of you, before you met, knew that you wanted to study and observe from your own viewpoints. You felt that a family life would automatically plunge you into the kind of living that would not allow you such luxury. At the same time, both of you to some extent feared what you thought of as the power of sex. Again, Freudian beliefs that filled the books and movies led you both in your own ways to fear that your energies could be “swallowed” by sexuality—that to some extent you had so much energy, and that most of it must go into creative work.

There are bodies, in those terms, who do not want to have physical offspring. They are not faulty. They fit in with nature’s plans, and with the psychological plans of the personalities involved. You were rather repressed at that period, frightened about your own work, and sometimes you would ignore Ruburt’s occasional sexual advances when you happened to be in your studio. He felt he was too spontaneous, again, too impulsive—but then in that belief system he worried if his sexual needs could not be properly squashed, supposing someone else aroused them, and he “fell in love” with someone else as quickly as he had fallen in love with you. Or worse—supposing your repressed sexuality was repressed because of your joint work, and supposing you fell in love with someone else, and became sexually aroused for another?

(9:50.) The entire premise is highly faulty, for the species deals with value fulfillment and quality, as do all forms of life, and not with mere physical reproduction. The sexual aspects of men and women do not exist apart from their individual psychological make-ups, but connected with all of the other unique individual characteristics.

Now give us a moment.... Those beliefs at that time helped give rise to further conservatism on Ruburt’s part. Now: in certain terms physical activity—sports—intrigued you. They were highly acceptable masculine pursuits. They were mainstream America. They allowed you to participate with others. To communicate with them on one level, while at other levels you preferred solitude, painting and writing; and you always observed.

Give us a moment.... When you feel at the same time that you must and should plow the driveway out yourself, to prove that you are the same as your neighbor, or to prove that you are physically agile, and on the other hand if you feel that you do not want to plow out the driveway at all, then you are in a quandary—and when you shovel, you tell your body to shovel and not to shovel at the same time, setting your muscles against each other.

(“Well, we’re making progress, I think. We read the resolutions over several times a day.)

(I for one think the session of great benefit. I’ve felt quite a bit better. Seth’s insights in the session carry further the various hints and clues I’ve uncovered by using the pendulum at different times—in a not very efficient way, I’m afraid, considering how much the situation has bothered.

(It’s my hunch that Seth’s New Year’s resolutions are perhaps the most potent material we could get, provided we keep them in mind as time passes. I have a copy of them up on the wall of the studio. So does Jane, in her work area.)