“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Here we see purpose, strong intent, and despite the ins-and-outs with mood, and the youthful wandering, the same purpose to write, to express oneself, to observe, and to stand apart from the mainstream of American life.

It was you who suggested the ESP book, and you also early decided not to become a part of the American mainstream of life. You did not have a strong drive to have a family. You avoided heavy sexual relationships also. Both of you, before you met, knew that you wanted to study and observe from your own viewpoints. You felt that a family life would automatically plunge you into the kind of living that would not allow you such luxury. At the same time, both of you to some extent feared what you thought of as the power of sex. Again, Freudian beliefs that filled the books and movies led you both in your own ways to fear that your energies could be “swallowed” by sexuality—that to some extent you had so much energy, and that most of it must go into creative work.

Now give us a moment.... Those beliefs at that time helped give rise to further conservatism on Ruburt’s part. Now: in certain terms physical activity—sports—intrigued you. They were highly acceptable masculine pursuits. They were mainstream America. They allowed you to participate with others. To communicate with them on one level, while at other levels you preferred solitude, painting and writing; and you always observed.