“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Now: I have given some—not all—of this material before, but now you can put the understanding to better advantage. Ruburt’s “overly conscientious self” was indeed built up in response to his belief that he was, to begin with, overly enthusiastic, overly impulsive, overly spontaneous. He was naturally expressive and open with people. He was creatively gifted—but an overly impulsive child does not care for an invalid mother, conscientiously, for 21 years.

He did not run away. He did not get into any serious difficulty. The very consistent writing of poetry through those years shows its own kind of discipline, but people are not used to bursts of creativity. They were not used to Ruburt’s very quick insights.

He thought of himself as overly impulsive. Very seldom did he yell back at his mother. An impulsive child might have done far more. He refrained from heavy sexual encounters—certainly not the behavior of a sexually impulsive person. He knew he didn’t want a family.

There are bodies, in those terms, who do not want to have physical offspring. They are not faulty. They fit in with nature’s plans, and with the psychological plans of the personalities involved. You were rather repressed at that period, frightened about your own work, and sometimes you would ignore Ruburt’s occasional sexual advances when you happened to be in your studio. He felt he was too spontaneous, again, too impulsive—but then in that belief system he worried if his sexual needs could not be properly squashed, supposing someone else aroused them, and he “fell in love” with someone else as quickly as he had fallen in love with you. Or worse—supposing your repressed sexuality was repressed because of your joint work, and supposing you fell in love with someone else, and became sexually aroused for another?

The driveway involves the sports situation, and also the mainline-America theme—for shouldn’t you be shoveling the walk like your neighbor? This involves questions like “How different am I from my neighbor? What does he think of me, working at home?” et cetera.

If Ruburt walks, he is not suddenly going to turn into a television personality and ignore his inner work. He is not that kind of person.Misunderstandings of your own abilities and characteristics are responsible for such unfortunate conclusions. Again, the New Year resolutions, really understood, can help you, for they will dissolve such thoughts.

(Jane wanted to know if Seth had covered all of the topics she’d listed before the session—then realized that he’d missed just one: Home. “But I can’t get it now,” she said. “He’s gone.... I felt like we got a whole lot of stuff, though. I can’t believe it; you mean I was only out for an hour?”