“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Now: I have given some—not all—of this material before, but now you can put the understanding to better advantage. Ruburt’s “overly conscientious self” was indeed built up in response to his belief that he was, to begin with, overly enthusiastic, overly impulsive, overly spontaneous. He was naturally expressive and open with people. He was creatively gifted—but an overly impulsive child does not care for an invalid mother, conscientiously, for 21 years.

He did not run away. He did not get into any serious difficulty. The very consistent writing of poetry through those years shows its own kind of discipline, but people are not used to bursts of creativity. They were not used to Ruburt’s very quick insights.

More than this, the Freudian concepts said more or less that each person, regardless of their individuality, was driven by sexual energies of great force. There was in such a system no room, literally, for individual differences, but a norm set so that you must behave thus and so.

There are bodies, in those terms, who do not want to have physical offspring. They are not faulty. They fit in with nature’s plans, and with the psychological plans of the personalities involved. You were rather repressed at that period, frightened about your own work, and sometimes you would ignore Ruburt’s occasional sexual advances when you happened to be in your studio. He felt he was too spontaneous, again, too impulsive—but then in that belief system he worried if his sexual needs could not be properly squashed, supposing someone else aroused them, and he “fell in love” with someone else as quickly as he had fallen in love with you. Or worse—supposing your repressed sexuality was repressed because of your joint work, and supposing you fell in love with someone else, and became sexually aroused for another?

(9:50.) The entire premise is highly faulty, for the species deals with value fulfillment and quality, as do all forms of life, and not with mere physical reproduction. The sexual aspects of men and women do not exist apart from their individual psychological make-ups, but connected with all of the other unique individual characteristics.

The hay fever began early, the example set by your father, and you used it to temper your activities in terms of sports in particular, because your intents overall did not want you to go in that direction. You kept those physical abilities around, though—the feeling for sports—in school, with the idea that you could fall back upon them if need be. But you would have considered that a partial failure. Your high-school art teacher, Miss Bowman, lent you the money to study art in New York City.

The comics acquainted you with what I will call a kind of surface art, and also in a way acquainted you with caricatures of social reality. Also involved however were folk dreams, as for example with Captain Marvel. While you happily worked and caroused quite innocently, you also began half unconsciously to further question the nature, not necessarily of society, but of the individual lives you met within it. The deep drives of your personality began to make their way known.

Give us a moment.... Because you have not seen yourselves clearly, you cannot see or judge the difference in your quality of thought from your early adult years, for example, or perceive what you have learned. But all of your difficulties are based to one extent or another on self-rejection that has gone unquestioned.

Taxes or whatever might serve as a trigger, but the basic point is that you do not approve of what you are doing. If you shovel the drive, you think you should be working, and vice versa sometimes. The session should help you here.

(Jane wanted to know if Seth had covered all of the topics she’d listed before the session—then realized that he’d missed just one: Home. “But I can’t get it now,” she said. “He’s gone.... I felt like we got a whole lot of stuff, though. I can’t believe it; you mean I was only out for an hour?”