“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(For the record: “Uknown,” it seems, appears to be one of those jobs that won’t go too smoothly, even though now we’re reaching the end of its cycle. Even today, the day after this deleted session was held, I received a call from Tam at Prentice-Hall, wanting to know about cutting the length of the book. Both Jane and I refused. However, the call evidently helped trigger a “panic” attack, as I call them, on my part, involving palpitations in the chest. The pendulum agreed. Naturally this is brought about by my own reactions to whatever the trigger happens to be, but still “Unknown,” and other creative endeavors have often been involved, when conflicts between what I think of as useful creative work run into doing things like shoveling snow, or other household items that I seem to think of as “chores.” None of this is new, although I have improved greatly in my reactions during the last year. The long working time—perhaps three years—spent on “Unknown” evidently allowed that project to accumulate strong psychic charges on my part; when doubts or challenges arise in conflict with the work on the book, I would react in uncomfortable ways occasionally.

Now if I were you two, making a list of resolutions, my list would include feelings and attitudes. Things to do are well and good—very good indeed—but the feelings and attitudes are, shall we say, at least as important. I would not presume to make a list of resolutions for you, but in an imaginative endeavor this is what I pretend I would list if I were you—meaning you both. Though this is a new year, there is nothing really new about the list.

You question your own characteristics, and so your accomplishments fade in your eyes. I do not want to be severe, and yet you do indeed show ingratitude when you “wish you were like other people.” People of ordinary ways wish deeply “that they were different,” that they possessed qualities that you both possess.

Begin the library—the two of you or Ruburt alone if you prefer. Read over the Framework 2 sessions, for both of you have largely forgotten to focus in that direction, and to look for hints of its activity. The looking-for creates the activity also, you see, for it serves as a psychological focus.

Do not be so severe in your dealings with yourselves, but be more indulgent. The both of you do know the meaning of the word.

(9:34 PM. Seth’s reference to my parents stemmed from an insight I expressed earlier today—that is obvious once thought of: that often as a youth I deplored my parents’ constant arguing and disagreements, thus judging them, but never gave a thought to how they felt on a daily basis while living such lives. Obviously—again —they must have been most unhappy much of the time. Such a simple understanding did not come to me that I remember, nor to my brothers—both of whom I think still have primitive ideas concerning father especially.