1 result for (book:tps5 AND heading:"delet session august 12 1979" AND stemmed:time)
[... 1 paragraph ...]
(At 10 PM I asked Jane if she felt like having a session. We’d been visited today by Loren, Betts and Doug, and Dick, Ida and David, and at times my left groin area had bothered me considerably. Now after everyone had gone—Dick and family stayed until about 8 PM—I felt poorly indeed. As I had last spring, I didn’t know whether my symptoms of unease were physical or mental, and was very concerned. I thought of a hernia—and Loren had been operated on for a hernia this summer—yet I suspected the unease was basically mental. This had been the case last spring. And now, those feelings had returned. Try as I might, I couldn’t find the proper adjective to describe the groin sensations; they weren’t ones of pain—but what?
[... 1 paragraph ...]
(Today as the family members talked and took photographs and watched television and ate. and so forth, I felt the discomfort in the left groin sweep over me in waves. Twice I went off to use the pendulum. Each time it helped, temporarily. I thought of asking Jane for help, but disliked doing so because I could see that she was doing very well. I didn’t want to introduce negative elements into the day, especially so since her performance was much better than it had been last year when everyone had gotten together. [After that gathering she’s had strong upsets of her own.]
[... 13 paragraphs ...]
You are afraid you will be thought of as a gentleman of leisure—at the worst a moral crime most certainly in light of the beliefs that originated at the time the Protestants first abandoned the Roman Catholic Church.
[... 6 paragraphs ...]
(11:51.) You have had in the past to some extent a disdain, because of your beliefs about yourself, for people perhaps met on the streets during business or working hours, or for people who did not have jobs, or who did not punch a time clock or whatever, and it is by those attitudes that you judge yourself (intently), and find yourself wanting in the eyes, say, of your brothers.
[... 4 paragraphs ...]
I want to rid you of any lingering misconceptions, but you still have a lingering belief that your old ideas about money and the male have some kind of high moral value. (Louder:) The Protestants have always thought that artists were decadent, that contemplation was dangerous, and that leisure was a crime. (With continuing amusement:) To enjoy your work was suspect—and if you enjoy unconventionality of mind, some leisure in which to contemplate the world about you, then it is about time that you dismissed such parochial concepts, and realized that there is no moral rectitude given them.
[... 1 paragraph ...]
You should do a book of your own if you want to, because you want to —not because of the money that might be involved. Some part of you still thinks there is something wrong with money unless you can show precisely where it came from—or people might think you a crook, or a gigolo living off your wife. You must learn to dismiss such ideas as the rubbish that they are. Your body is in the right place at the right time—and (louder) I can see that I was in the right place at the right time for our chat.
[... 1 paragraph ...]
(“No. I need some time to go over all of this.”)
[... 8 paragraphs ...]
Again—not to overemphasize this—at such times a part of you thinks —or you think partly—that if you were “a simple working man” life would be easier. Do you follow the connections clearly?
[... 2 paragraphs ...]
(“Not at this time. Thank you, it’s very good.”
(Jane paused, still in trance. I expected her to end the session, but as she sat there I saw that it was one of those times when she—or Seth—could say more. I was surprised, considering her feelings before the session. Then:)
[... 15 paragraphs ...]