“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(As I told Jane last night, I didn’t realize that I was so tight, so bound up with tensions and stresses, that I was ready to fall ill because of those basic conflicts with self-disapproval, the male-provider role, money, taxes, and all the rest of the daily paraphernalia of living. I’ve had several lesser encounters with relaxation effects since the massive one of April 24—the last one being last night. I’ve enjoyed them all. I’ve also slept well now for some time. My dreams, those I remember at least, have also reflected efforts at reconciliation of opposing beliefs, fears, and so forth. In the meantime, I’ve let myself go, not working hard in any direction, relaxing while working on the files, or in the yard, or shopping or painting or whatever. The line that’s most impressed me in all of this, perhaps, is Seth’s quote to me from my own body, given by him in the deleted session for April 18: “You worry too much. You need to relax, so that I can relax.”

(The phone rang at 8:45 PM, as I worked on these notes. The caller was Larry Dowler, calling for the Yale Archives. They want the Seth material and related papers. There are many questions to be resolved yet, since we have yet to even see the will Bill Danaher is drawing up for us. We have to resolve the issue of public accessibility, and others. [Jane is not in favor of public accessibility at this time.] LD explained a few things, suggesting among them a committee, perhaps, to screen qualified applicants to the material. All will be resolved. “I can’t believe it,” Jane said a number of times as we talked. Certainly we hadn’t expected such an outright acceptance so quickly after LD’s visit last week [Sunday the 22nd]. LD or his secretary will write. He goes into the hospital for knee surgery within a few days.

(I didn’t think anything immediate would develop, I told her, nor did I expect the session tonight would be on me. Jane, understandably, had questions about recognition, now that Yale had expressed willingness to accept her work. That is, at least rejection wasn’t implied, but I must admit that both of us are very cautious about expecting any sort of real acceptance via academia; certainly not these days. Our main goal in wanting a home for the Seth material—or for a lifework, really—is one of preservation for future use. We don’t think that Yale can have much of an idea of what’s involved with Jane’s abilities, or the subject matter of the Seth material.

(Pause at 10:29.) Once begun, the sessions happen. Contrast this with your joint attitudes toward “your other work,” with the hassles involved, the need to be absolutely sure of what you are doing, to have the plan there, and everything known in advance. Those ideas impede creativity.