“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(What I’m trying to do is to let the information Seth has given in the last several deleted sessions for me, starting with that for April 4, sink in so that I can achieve a synthesis of it all both consciously and unconsciously. I think the material is very perceptive, and that I may have begun achieving some kind of equanimity between the two men, or opposing sets of belief, that Seth so aptly described in the deleted session for April l8. [I read these sessions daily.] It’s essential that these conflicting beliefs be resolved by the personality, and I’m determined to do so. I think the physical improvements noted are first signs that I can get the results I want.

(As I told Jane last night, I didn’t realize that I was so tight, so bound up with tensions and stresses, that I was ready to fall ill because of those basic conflicts with self-disapproval, the male-provider role, money, taxes, and all the rest of the daily paraphernalia of living. I’ve had several lesser encounters with relaxation effects since the massive one of April 24—the last one being last night. I’ve enjoyed them all. I’ve also slept well now for some time. My dreams, those I remember at least, have also reflected efforts at reconciliation of opposing beliefs, fears, and so forth. In the meantime, I’ve let myself go, not working hard in any direction, relaxing while working on the files, or in the yard, or shopping or painting or whatever. The line that’s most impressed me in all of this, perhaps, is Seth’s quote to me from my own body, given by him in the deleted session for April 18: “You worry too much. You need to relax, so that I can relax.”