“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

APRIL 30, 1979 10:15 PM MONDAY

(Before the session Jane read over the letter from D. R. Moorcroft, the professor of physics who’d written her such a fine letter on April 3. She divided the letter into questions; Seth may discuss some of them tonight. We thought Professor Moorcroft’s letter was very well done. Seth does refer to the first question Jane had noted, and that material is also presented as the 849th session, as well as being included here.

(As for myself, I feel somewhat better than I have been so far this month. The siege seems endless. I haven’t asked the pendulum many questions at all since the last ones I recorded on April 21. My stomach still bothers, but on a much-reduced level; the groin/left testicle seems all but clear at times; occasionally the discomfort returns on a reduced basis also.

(What I’m trying to do is to let the information Seth has given in the last several deleted sessions for me, starting with that for April 4, sink in so that I can achieve a synthesis of it all both consciously and unconsciously. I think the material is very perceptive, and that I may have begun achieving some kind of equanimity between the two men, or opposing sets of belief, that Seth so aptly described in the deleted session for April l8. [I read these sessions daily.] It’s essential that these conflicting beliefs be resolved by the personality, and I’m determined to do so. I think the physical improvements noted are first signs that I can get the results I want.

(As I told Jane last night, I didn’t realize that I was so tight, so bound up with tensions and stresses, that I was ready to fall ill because of those basic conflicts with self-disapproval, the male-provider role, money, taxes, and all the rest of the daily paraphernalia of living. I’ve had several lesser encounters with relaxation effects since the massive one of April 24—the last one being last night. I’ve enjoyed them all. I’ve also slept well now for some time. My dreams, those I remember at least, have also reflected efforts at reconciliation of opposing beliefs, fears, and so forth. In the meantime, I’ve let myself go, not working hard in any direction, relaxing while working on the files, or in the yard, or shopping or painting or whatever. The line that’s most impressed me in all of this, perhaps, is Seth’s quote to me from my own body, given by him in the deleted session for April 18: “You worry too much. You need to relax, so that I can relax.”