“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(I’m naturally worried that I’ve created a physical condition, and so is Jane. She began some writing about me today, stressing my characteristics as I confront the world with a distance between the two. Her material is excellent; she said she doesn’t know where it comes from, or exactly what state she’s in when doing it. It’s far from finished, but she finally let me see what she had after supper. She doesn’t know whether she can “calm down enough to do more on the piece or not,” although I’m sure she will. She also mentioned trying hypnosis with me, since I’m a good subject. I’d quite forgotten that art. At this stage I’m willing to try it. At this stage I’d try anything right now. At 8:15 PM my stomach bothers a bit, but the left side has subsided to vague feelings of discomfort in the groin and testicle. The stomach does appear to be the primary seat of upset in all of this, and has for some years. I think it triggers the other unpleasant effects. Jane and I discussed the possibility that I may have an ulcer.

(Jane read these notes over as we sat for the session at 9:35. I explained that I hated to “put her on the spot” by asking if I had an ulcer, or a hernia, say, or gas or whatever. I realized my doing so frightened her. At the same time, I said, I was curious as to whether I did have an ulcer, for instance—that if so, I could see that I’d created that situation in order to contend with certain challenges.)

These two men are one, of course. They represent your own opposing beliefs and feelings. At one time or another you do not agree, or approve, of either set, and so you are always berating yourself about being different than you are.

(Pause.) The two of you, having no children, cannot count upon children to fulfill your dreams, as many do, or to accomplish what you do not accomplish, as many do. Your “work” is in a way like your marriage: it must satisfy an almost infinite number of requirements and demands (with humor). It must give you a sense of belonging, accomplishment, emotional support, at times exhilaration, be intellectually and emotionally satisfying, give you financial success, and some power in the world.

(Pause.) Your worth is in what you are. Anyone’s worth is in their own essence. That which you are will naturally produce acts or works of whatever kind. Your television news program (on ABC) is now producing a series about your nuclear power, and that of Russia. As in all such happenings, the worst probability is considered imaginatively, and steps taken in the physical world—using much energy and inventiveness—steps that are supposed to prevent this worst probability from occurring. Frightened people do not make wise decisions. In fact, they often take actions that inadvertently bring about the feared results, whatever the circumstances in the given case.

In your own way you often do the same thing. Sometimes your body bothers you, and it is saying “You worry too much. You need to relax, so that I can relax.” Instead, you then promptly worry about your body, concentrate upon its malfunctions, focus upon its problems. It is the overall approach to daily life that is important. The rules, again, appear too simple: refuse to worry. Trust that you know your next projects. Allow them to happen, and forget all projected limited suppositions, such as “I will never have the time to do this or that,” for those limitations do not exist in fact. In fact, period.

The projects that you are meant to do can be done in your lifetime. The ones that are not done are not done for a reason, because they do not fit in with your nature, or because they can be handled in a different way, or whatever, but you must trust that the spontaneous self understands the overall shape of your life, and its creative contexts and contents.

(I didn’t want Seth to leave before I asked this question: “Do you want to say something about your remark that Jane’s early symptoms were at least partly connected with her embarrassment at making more money than I did?”)

You must understand, as certainly you do, the focus of your lives. Even before the psychic venture began, it was always your individual and joint work: in the beginning writing and painting.

That dislike, as much as anything, made you unwilling to do what is required to be a selling artist. You felt differently about commercial work. You have always had the sex roles to contend with in society to some degree. All of this did help contribute to Ruburt’s symptoms, particularly in the beginning. He was afraid you would be jealous, that others would say he dominated you, and to some extent both of you felt the symptoms helped you save face in society.

(10:29.) The symptoms also served later to provide you both with a sense of separation from the world, a reason for not doing what you thought you should do in conventional terms: go out and spread the word, become television people, or lead groups, or give seminars—all things that largely went against the private portions of your nature, though otherwise you were both equipped to do so.

You would be very wise to see the people you see (underlined), because you want to see them when you do, while never using Ruburt’s condition as an excuse for not doing what you do not want to do anyhow, or for not seeing people you do not want to see anyhow (intently.