“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

You were astonished when Ruburt told you how much money the Gallaghers were making, for if Bill sold his soul, few it seems could have sold it for less. Bill, however, concentrated upon life’s regrettable elements, upon the impediments, the dishonesties and so forth, until it seemed that even if he followed the world’s way he could not succeed. His idea of manliness was such that he insisted upon a conventional job, clear-cut.

When you pursue new avenues, there are no such easy ways to assess success or failure (intently). Thinking in terms of the conventional world, however, you feel sometimes at a loss, for you want to say, “What am I?” in those terms (underlined)—an artist, or a writer, or a combination of the two? Ruburt wonders, what is he—a writer, a psychic, a combination of the two? The books bear his name, so you feel that they are primarily his, and yet all of those feelings ignore completely the larger realities of your lives and of your work.

If you were just a writer or just an artist, or if Ruburt were just a writer or just a psychic, then neither of you would be involved in this endeavor, which is even in your terms, of such a creative nature that it defies definitions. It does not rest in either of you alone, but rises from joint psychological structures (intently) that you have formed together, each using what characteristics you could—psychological structures that you then can use to gain a viewpoint upon reality that is so unique.

Those doubts, however, of course mitigate strongly against your feelings of self-approval, and undermine your natural stamina and courage. Ruburt was bothered by the same feelings in reverse in the past, but he has learned to understand quite clearly that our work is a threefold venture. It would not exist in its present form—and its present form is its best form—were it not for your own participation. In a fashion you are merging arts together, and laying the groundwork for new kinds of art that presently do not exist.

Ruburt used to feel embarrassed because he made more money in those terms than you, and certainly this played some role initially in the symptoms. (Does it still?) You could not have a job, obviously. You had to take care of him, and it seemed you both saved face; but almost all of your problems come from the unthinking acceptance of conventional ideas that have been allowed to hold sway.

Ruburt’s experiences (of April 12; see the end of the session) were excellent, and did affect you beneficially at other levels, by releasing comprehensions that will appear in your time.

Ruburt thinks of taxes as money paid to society for leaving him alone. He pays his dues, so to speak. The dream did involve Saturday’s visit with the tax accountant (Jack Joyce), which in a way was a re-creation of the dream. Ruburt knew a few moments before the man’s visit that the taxes would be less than you supposed. He had been worried they might be more, and that you might become more upset.

(10:47.) The tax man is a well-meaning individual, far from a rogue, with his own problems, and in the dream this information is realized by you, and hence picked up by Nebene. Joyce, by his very characteristics, in his way stood for the confused but well-meaning-enough society. Ruburt felt he had paid his dues, physically speaking, and was done with that.