1 result for (book:tps5 AND heading:"delet session april 16 1979" AND stemmed:pendulum)
[... 5 paragraphs ...]
(“The pendulum insists there’s nothing wrong physically in the side-groin area, but I’m beginning to wonder. Pendulum tells me the side bothers because I’m not working on Mass Reality, which will get us money, whereas Through My Eyes is a less-certain project, would take longer, and the time I spend on it is time lost on Mass Reality. In other words, I’m very concerned about my financial contribution, and paying all those taxes exacerbates it all.
(“The pendulum says I don’t think I’ll get money for Through My Eyes, that it’s a waste of time, that I don’t want to work on it. I do want to work on Mass Reality, so as soon as I finish my filing for Through My Eyes, I’ll start in on Mass Reality.
(“The pendulum says my side started to bother me after I estimated $70,000 income for tax purposes for 1979, without seeing how Jane and I have any chance yet to bring in that much this year.”
[... 7 paragraphs ...]
(“Tonight the pendulum says just what it did yesterday—that I feel poorly because I estimated a high income when we don’t have it in sight; that I think I should be working on Mass Reality instead of Through My Eyes because the former will bring in sure money; that I think I don’t contribute enough financially; that I feel lousy because I want something definite to work on —that at this time I’m not contributing enough. The pendulum also says I think I deserve the symptoms for the above reasons.
(“The pendulum also says I think my body is capable of healing itself, wants to heal itself, and that I want it to heal itself. It also says I do not think it’s safe to get well. I don’t feel bad because of Jane’s symptoms, although I’m very concerned about them daily.
(“The pendulum repeated my insight of a couple of days ago—one that may be very important: that all of my upsets over the years, the stomach, the side, the groin, the shoulder—the whole bunch—stem from my consistent feeling that I’m a failure in life, that I don’t contribute enough, that I don’t help Jane enough, that I haven’t really made it as an artist or as a writer.
(“The pendulum also says I can make it as an artist and writer, and that I’m too hard on myself. I’ve begun reading Seth’s New Year’s resolutions again, and these have helped.”
[... 47 paragraphs ...]